lost | the hunger games

• xv •

❝courage does not always roar. valor does not always shine.❞

mama agba, children of blood and bone

☾

I didn't get the chance to even close my eyes before the anthem came sounding throughout the jungle, resonating with every tree. The arena lit up in the far end of the dome, and the familiar Capitol crest appeared for a small second. I could feel the crest being branded onto my skin like a prized cow waiting for the slaughter, and Snow is the butcher. Katniss and Finnick woke up easily—I doubt Katniss was asleep at all if I'm being honest.

The first tribute appears on the screen—Hyram. I glanced at Finnick, who'd quietly released a relieved breath. That means that Wires and Beetee made it out. The tributes list skip over the District Five female victor—Parvan, I think her name was—and brings out both of the District Six victors. A victor from district nine pops up, and this time it was my turn to untense with relief. Johanna and Blight had made it as well, which meant our allies were together and following the plan.

The relief left as soon as it had come the moment the victor from District Ten shone in the projector. Peeta flinched at the sight of him, going unnoticed by me. I shifted around to look at him, deciding to play a game.

"Death makes you squirm," I said.

The boy tries to give me an apologetic glance, caught off guard. "N-no, it's just—"

"That one was mine," I interrupted casually, "wasn't it Finnick?"

"I do believe so."

I narrowed my eyes at the boy. "Didn't I slice his throat open? I'm pretty sure I slit his throat—didn't I, Peeta?"

Peeta couldn't meet my eyes, shuffling uncomfortably as Katniss glared at me. I pushed further, wanting him to say something. I knew Peeta didn't deserve this—especially after the talk we'd had not twenty minutes before. But there was something in his eyes. It made me angry.

"I'm sorry. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

Mellark clears his throat. "I didn't say anything."

I scoffed. "I could see it. You say a lot more with your eyes than you do with your mouth, Mellark."

"I said thank you," he gritted out.

"Yeah, because you know he was gonna kill you if I hadn't stepped in, or more likely, you'd be the one with the blood on your hands," I grinned at Katniss, but it was all fangs. "Then Everdeen's work would've been for nothing."

"Are you done?" interrupted Katniss. Her eyes were cold. 

The grin dropped. "We're in the fucking Hunger Games. It's kill or be killed. You need thicker skin for this life. Do good to remember that," I snapped.

The arena blacked out, the projection disappearing along with the faces of the fallen tributes. I looked ahead of me, turning away from the lovebirds. Finnick was staring at me when I turned away. There was pure concern written on his face, but I ignored him and directed my attention to the stars in the "sky."

When I refused to answer his silent questions, he shuffled over on his hands until he was sitting right beside me. Instead of acknowledging his presence, I pulled out my war scythe and started to clean the blood off it with a leaf. He whispered low while keeping his eyes to the stars, "You want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Fine, then I will," he said. "You're shutting down, Pallas."

"I am not."