masochist // h.s

24; ICE CREAM AT HALF-PAST ONE

:: 24

he was galaxies

i was ocean floors

and together we were chaos

-

/ florence /

1:30 am

Upon sneaking out of my house, I disregarded all constraints, especially Grandmother's constraints. I tiptoed through the dark and breathed a sharp intake of air as I felt the cool midnight air blow around my ankles. I tiptoed faster.

I couldn't describe the surge of feelings I felt. Was it exhilaration? Was it the rush and the thrill of rebellion? I didn't know. But I was certain of one thing, I had looked forward to meeting Harry - to be able to finally see his saccharine sweet smile and feel his minty breath upon my face which would leave me barely a wisp of air to gasp a mere 'hello'.

I pushed open the door of the town's local ice cream parlor, hearing the tingling sound of the door slowly shutting behind me. My eyes scanned the designated area, my vision landing on none other than Harry, the ever-so-shrewd Harry showing off his little Cheshire grin that I could not help but mirror. Maybe feeling like this was not so bad after all.

I sat down sheepishly before being met with a vexed smirk. "I was gonna call you, I almost thought you wouldn't show up," He said, eyes roaming my face.

"Well now you don't have to," I breathed.

Harry shifted his seat closer towards mine. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my pulse thrumming erratically under my skin. He was looking at me with those god forsaken eyes. Squirming, I said, "You're staring."

"I'm gazing," he smiled.

"It's creepy," I retorted.

"It's romantic!" he exclaimed, smile as big as ever. A frazzled pause. "..So how are you?"

I scoffed teasingly, "Oh no, we don't really have to do that thing."

His chiseled features contorted in pure confusion, "We can do anything you want."

Tucking my hair under my ear, I bit my lip. "You know...the thing."

"What thing?" He began laughing in unseasoned perplexity that I, too, began to laugh softly in return.

I looked down at my lap before meeting his gaze with my lips curving at the corner, "Never mind".

-

As minutes flew by, we grew hungry and so we approached the cashier to buy some ice-cream. Surveying the different flavors through the glass front, we ended up ordering a large-sized raspberry sundae to share between us. Harry placed the sundae at our table whilst I picked up two long handled silver spoons. Grinning down at our ceramic bowl of desert, Harry began to eat and we continued to talk. Every now and then, he'd turn to look up at me between gulps with that face I knew I could never refuse, my breaths rising in miniature clouds and despite the sheer frigidity of the hour, I melted.

As of Harry and I, I'm not quite sure about where we stood. Maybe we don't even stand anywhere; maybe there is nowhere to stand. To be honest, I don't want to think about my feelings for the time being. I'm in a good place for the first time in a long time. And I'm glad I've been able to maintain a stable relationship (friendship?) with someone I can trust besides Spencer. But unlike Spencer, Harry wasn't the life of every room he was in. Under that enigmatic exterior, beneath that mask, he didn't know where he belonged or who he was. At his core, he felt only a void and so constantly layered a new identity around himself. I think he is simply frightened. The stupid thing was he wasn't empty or devoid of anything, not when we talked about stuff that mattered. He was kind in a very honest way and gentle in his own nature. But somehow he couldn't rate those qualities in himself.

Letting Harry in will probably be the biggest mistake I'll commit, but maybe, just maybe, its going to be worth the risk. But with the store music playing softly behind the noise of roaming customers and the occasional dinging of the tills, I smiled internally despite the fact it was 1:30 am in the morning and the odds of me getting killed was a million to one.

-

A/N:

OMG !!! i cant believe it's been 4 months since the last update

im SO sorry for the sudden UNANNOUNCED hiatus

apologies for the poorly written chapter !