Darkness

Alone

Chapter 15

As I entered the small motel I was met with a welcoming and warm environment. The cold autumn air had vanished, leaving me in a room with happy family's that needed a place to stay for the night. It made me wonder what it was like to have a family of my own, to go on trips and have to stop for the night for rest. The children unable to sleep due to excitement. It made my heart sink, normal. All I wanted was to be normal.

The receptionist gave me my key and the directions to my room, I decided to take the stairs to avoid any awkward yet polite conversations in the lift. "Where are you headed to?", "Where did you come from?", "Are you from around here?" although people were just trying to be nice, it was rather annoying.

Wondering around the long corridors, I found my room. I entered cautiously in case I was met with an unwelcomed guest, being who I was I had to check everything in case someone was hiding in the shadows. I had to be careful, if I wasn't I'd be putting my life on the line.

Instantly dropping myself onto the bed I thought about everything fucking up so quickly, it was as simple as leaving the house and trusting someone and yet I managed to ruin everything already. I put my headphones in and tried to sleep to avoid every emotion but instead I was met with tears streaming down my face. An ache filled every inch of my body to the core, my heart was racing a mile a minute all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I wanted the bed to consume me, I wanted to run and never look back. But I was stuck to the bed, I felt the crash hit me like a truck and I knew for the next week or so everything would fucking suck more.

It hurt, everything hurt and the next thing I knew I was reaching for the file that had caused all this shit and read it over and over again. Who was Eva? And what the fuck happened to her?

I picked up my phone in hope to search and figure out everything I needed to know about the Bates industry, I needed to know who this family was.

The browser loaded and I was filled with pages and pages of news articles related to the death and how tragic it was. Eva was said to be alive but had disappeared completely, her whereabouts unknown to any family or friend of Bates. My heart ached for her, not having her family and witnessing the murder. Her sister's location was also unknown, just how she had gone into hiding with all inheritance of her father, the funeral was also mentioned, talking about the devastating news for the Romano family. Reminding me once again about how Cole had hidden all knowledge from me, but he had done what I did my entire life. He ran from the past, left it all behind and blocked it out of his mind in hope to never be reminded of it again. It was the easiest way to cope.

I rested my head against the pillow, thinking about what he would be doing with the guys. Would they be searching for me? Or would they be relieved they no longer have to babysit me? Are they going about their day as if I had never joined Darkness? For once I had felt like I was surrounded by people who understood me and yet I let my pride and arrogance get in the way and ran from any emotional connection I gained.

As my concern for their wellbeing got worse, Ash had sent me a text. I appreciated his efforts to care but I knew they were going to try and track me so I turned my phone off. Music was my escape and now I lost that, but it made it clear they possibly did care. I had a strange feeling in my stomach, I thought it was happiness but laughed it off.

I don't care about anyone. About anything.