The Great Unknown

Chapter 11

"Hey Lis!" I say coming in to my quarters. She hugs me and I wince. Still sore, "Sorry. I didn't mean to..." She starts.
"It's okay. Wanna grab some dinner kiddo?"
"Who you calling kiddo? I was older than you remember?" She says.
"Yeah yeah. Let's get going before it gets crowded." I say.
I try not to show my limp as I walk but it still hurts. When we get to Ten Forward it's busy so it takes 30 minutes before we get a seat.
I end up leaning on Julian's shoulder for support. "There's a free table now." A lady says. We eat and then end up going back to my quarters by 2200. By now Julian knows that I can never sleep without having nightmares. "So I was thinking I could transfer my stuff tomorrow?"
"Yeah, I have to clean up this place though, I've been gone for not even a week and Lis made a mess." I say laughing.
"I'll help if you want." He says.
"Thanks." I yawn and he says "You should get some rest, it's been a long couple days." He says.
I go to bed and he puts the blankets over me. "I'll be right next door if you need me." He says.
"Night Tay." I hear Lis say from the other room.
"Night." I say and then I close my eyes and Julian kisses me, turns off the lights and leaves.
When I fall to sleep, my nightmare is something totally different. It's a memory that I've been hiding all my life. "Now Ms. Stone, I'm Captain Ross. What would you say to helping me with a computer problem? I hear your very good with computers." He says.
"I'll help." My 9 year old self says. I remember that this memory was from a year after I got rescued. It was in this instance I hated what Star Fleet manipulated me into doing. I was just some tool they could use and then end up using the thing I created to kill, destroy and hurt thousands of people during the Maquis war. The nightmare continues to show me creating a computer program that was suppose to be used for helping war refugees. Instead they used my algorithm to drop plasma bombs on the Maquis bases. They killed innocent people. The only reason I joined Star Fleet was so I could prove that that moment in my childhood never affected me. I wake up on the verge of crying, which doesn't happen a lot. Porthos is licking me and I hear him bark once. That's the signal he uses to call Julian.
"Hey." He says soothingly coming over to my bed and sitting down after he unlocked my door. I hug him and then do the one thing I haven't done in ages, cry.
"Do you want to talk about it? I'll get you something, wait a sec. He comes back with Kukalaka and I stop crying and make a small smile. "You can't tell a single soul about this or I will personally snap you understood?" I say serious.
"Your own fiancé?" He asks. "No I'm joking but you better not tell a soul." I state.
He puts his hands up in surrender and I start the story. "A year after I got rescued by Admiral Pike, Star Fleet asked me to help them build a computer algorithm to assist in helping war refugees. I was only 9, but Star Fleet thought I was the perfect candidate. A genius with the highest IQ recorded. I lied about my IQ originally, to you and everyone. I don't have a IQ of 200, I have a IQ that beats out every person, ever. I have a IQ of 400. The program I built, Star Fleet used to drop bombs on Maquis planets, innocent people died. That was my first true moment of realizing that Star Fleet never really cared about me. The only reason I joined, was because of my mom. I stopped working with Star Fleet on any projects after what happened. Admiral Pike was the only one who understood me. He had a trial but Star Fleet told him they would have never done that. If I ever brought it up again I would never get a job at Star Fleet." I say finishing.
He looked at me and just held me tight.
"Max." He says quietly and sadly.
"It's life for me. I've learned to except it." I say. He doesn't care that my IQ was a lie, he doesn't care that all this has happened. I'm getting tired again and I fall asleep in his arms. The next morning I wake up and I'm sprawled out across my bed, Julian is squished underneath me. I try to sneak off but he peaks one eye open and then hugs me. "I have workkkk. Unlike you who has the day off." I state.
"Just 5 more minutes? Your like my blanket." He says sleepily.
"I'm getting up. I can't." I state finally getting off.
"Once I move in, I expect my 5 minutes more." He says laughing.
I put on my uniform, eat some breakfast and say goodbye to Julian, Lis, and Porthos. Then I'm off to the bridge.