When You Loved Me - Aziraphale X Crowley (Finished)

Chapter 12

Rays of light peaked through from behind the curtains. Aziraphale stared at them from over the demon. Crowley slept on his side facing the Angel who hadn't been able to sleep a wink. All he could do was watch his demon through the night to ensure he was ready to react should the demon fall ill.

Every so often the angel would place his palm over Crowley's chest, just to feel the heart beating. This time though, as the Angel touched the Demon's bare skin, Crowley covered Aziraphale's hand with his own, slowly blinking his eyes open.

Aziraphale hesitantly traced his eyes up to Crowley's. The golden pupils set directly on the Angel. Aziraphale felt the beat of his own heart trying to crack through his chest. Crowley was okay. That meant he didn't love him anymore. Aziraphale painfully ripped his eyes away, retracting his hand from the demon.

Crowley didn't say a word. His hand didn't even try to hold onto the angel's. Crowley just lay there silently before sitting up and kicking his legs over the side of the bed. Aziraphale slightly inched away before speaking:

"We should head home." Aziraphale spoke. He couldn't bare to think about his situation. Sure he didn't want Crowley to be hurt. But as selfish as it was, he wanted Crowley to love him as well. And sure he could give the demon the fruit, but would that really bring back the love, or just the memory? The angel should've known. Once the love is taken it can't be returned.

"Z.. Zira..."

"Come on Crowley, there's no point staying here." Tears sent threatening stabs into the eyes of the angel, trying desperately to hold them back. He lightly trembled. Over and over his mind reiterated, Crowley doesn't love him.

"Aziraphale." The angel could feel Crowley's piercing eyes. It didn't matter. He couldn't turn around. He couldn't look at the demon. He couldn't let Crowley know how much it hurt him.

He heard the sheets rustle and felt the weight beside him remove itself from the mattress. Suddenly, Crowley was kneeling in front of him. The angel was far from willing to show his face. The redhead's hands landed on the angel's face, nudging it to look towards the demon.

Aziraphale tried to resist when Crowley spoke again.

"Aziraphale, look at me." The Angel sucked in a breath before looking back at the demon. He used every ounce of power he had to keep his face emotionless. Crowley frowned a little upon seeing the blond's face.

"Angel... Please don't do that. Don't hide how you feel from me." Aziraphale tried to turn away again but Crowley wouldn't let him. "It's okay for you to feel upset or hurt... But don't pretend otherwise."

"It's not okay. To feel hurt that you're perfectly okay. How selfish does that make me? I should be grateful that you're fine and not in pain. But instead, I'm over here with sinful thoughts."

"It's not a sin to want to be loved Aziraphale." The Angel just sighed and looked away. "It's a moot point anyway. Because I do love you."

"Crowley..."

"I know what you're going to say, but it was different this time." The angel's eyebrows furrowed.

"What was?"

"Angel, I can remember. I remember all of it. Everything that happened between us." The angel seemed sceptical of the Demon's declaration.

"Crowley..."

"Remember new years? We were so sick and tired of the cold, so we decided to pop into Australia. We found a private little beach where nobody could see us." Aziraphale smiled slightly as the memory tugged at his mind. "My wings got so burnt from the sun. And when we got back to the hotel room, you just sat there, soothing my wings as I lay on the bed. Do you remember? I asked you why you bothered taking care of them when you knew they'd heal on their own and you told me..."

"...I have no doubt in your ability to take care of yourself, but so long as I'm alive I will too."

"That's right Angel. And even when I lost my memory, you stood by that. You took care of me even when I hated it. Even when you hated it. Now my Angel, let me take care of you."

"Crowley..." Aziraphale sighed again. He still wasn't fully sold. This didn't prove anything. Did it? Crowley gripped his love's chin and plunged into blue eyes. With the spare hand, Crowley gripped onto Aziraphale's, noticing how tense the angel was.

"Aziraphale, I understand your hesitation. I can see that you're afraid. I need you to have faith. I need you to have faith in the fact that I love you." Aziraphale was close to tears. "Can you do that for me Angel? I swear to spend every moment of my life finding every single way to tell you and show you that I love you, but I need you to believe in me." The angel pushed himself onto Crowley who fell backwards, catching himself on his elbows with a teary eyed angel atop him. As Crowley searched through longing gazes, he let himself drop back into the floor and instead used his long arms to hold the angel into him, kissing him deeply and powerfully. Aziraphale pulled back a little.

"Do you really remember everything?" Crowley nodded.

"I do. Everything is okay now. We can be together and we never again have to be afraid. I love you." The angel's glow was shining brightly as he smiled.

"I love you too."