adopted by Tom Harlock

William Shatner

Weird tension built up in the air and he looked like he was about to throw up.

After a minute of staring, he asked me if I wanted brown or white rice. 

I didn't answer him, because I was still waiting for an answer. After a long, long dreadful silence he began to speak "Okay Vanesa, I'm going to tell you the truth, but i need you to promise me you're gonna listen and won't interupt me." "Okay, go on." I said. "I've known your parents for over 10 years now, and I found out only about a year ago that they have a child. I've always wanted a child, I never had anz luck with girls though. Everytime I meet someone they always make a kid with me because I'm so beautiful and they want their kid to have my genes, but then they leave me. So when your paretns told me they fuckign hate you and don't want you anymore I didn't hesitate. I payed them 20 dollars and they said they'll give you to me."

I noticed he stopped talking, I completely spaced out and I didn't understand a word he just said. I acted like I did though. "Oh really? That's great!" I said, hoping it's a reasonable response. He did look at me weird and throughout the rest of the night he kept asking me if I'm sure it's okay. After the 30th time he asked me I got irritaed, so I yelled "YES IT IS OKAY YOU CORN NUTS!"

He started crying and took out a rock out of his bag and threw it at me. He hit me pretty hard in the head and i started bleeding. Then bunch of men walked in and they all intorduced themsleves to me their names were Frank, Tinkerfuck, George, Pu$$yeater and Greg. They took care of my bleeding wound and then they all yelled in unison "William Shatner!" and they disappeared as quickly as they appeard into the dark night. 

I looked at Tom and I noticed he had stopped crying, I was happy that he had stopped because he is the ugliest crier of all time, he'd desrve an award for that. I can;t stand looking at that smushed, wet, sorrowful, ugly face of his. I never told him any of this because he is very sensitive and it would only make him cry more.