my strange addiction

Part 9

Clarke got out of the van and ran towards the bar. Monty told her not to, but she couldn't just let her friends die out there. The building was on fire. Multiple people told her not to go inside, but she did. She went inside. She needed to find her friends. She found Raven on the floor. There was glass on her and she was covered in blood. 'Hey I'm here.' Clarke says. 'Find Octavia, she's worse.' Raven croaked out. She pointed at a pile of bricks. Clarke gasped. Was she under those bricks? She rushed over to the bricks. She found Octavia under it. 'Hey Octavia. I'm here. Listen to my voice. Stay with me.' Clarke says. Octavia was unconscious. After a while paramedics entered the building and told Clarke to go. Raven and Octavia were taken to the hospital. Clarke was left behind. After a while the van stopped in front of her. 'Get in we're going to the hospital.' Monty says. 'If one of them dies it's on you. This is your fault.' Clarke says. Her voice sounds broken, weak, but intimidating. Monty swallowed visibly. 'I should've listened to you.' Monty says. 'Yes you should've. This is my mission. I'm in charge from now on.' Clarke says. 'Indra told me to not let you be in charge, but I'm clearly not the right leader for this team.' Monty says. 'I'll let you know what I decide.' Monty says. 'You have no right to decide over my friends, my team, my mission.' Clarke says. The drive to the hospital is silent. No one dares to speak and Clarke doesn't feel like talking. She might lose two of her best friends because of the new agent.

When they arrive at the hospital Clarke rushes into the building. She asks the lady at the front desk where her friends are. Apparently Octavia is in surgery, but Raven is in her room. Clarke takes the stairs and goes into Raven's room. 'Hi.' Clarke says. 'Hi.' Raven says. 'I nearly died today.' Raven says. She chuckles. Clarke chuckles too. 'Only you.' Clarke says. 'What do you mean?' Raven asks. 'No one jokes about that.' Clarke says. They both laugh. 'What's wrong?' Raven asks. She saw the change of expression on Clarke's face. 'Nothing.' Clarke says and she forces herself to smile. 'Clarke please I know you.' Raven says. 'Fine. I knew this was going to happen. I tried to stop it. I really did, but Monty didn't listen to me.' Clarke says. She can't stop the tear from rolling down her face. 'Come here.' Raven taps the space in the bed besides her. Clarke crawls in the bed and Raven pulls her close. 'It's okay, Clarke.' Raven says. 'It's not. I should've known.' Clarke says. 'You couldn't have known.' Raven says. 'Yes I could Raven. I could' Clarke says. 'What are you not telling me?' Raven asks. Her voice went from soft and comforting to firm and direct. 'What do you mean?' Clarke asks. 'You said you've been close to her. How close?' Raven asks. Clarke doesn't know how to answer this question. 'You slept with her!' Raven shouts. Clarke shushes her. 'Not so loud.' Clarke says. 'So it's true.' Raven says. 'Yes it's true.' Clarke says. 'Does she know who you are?' Raven asks. 'No.' Clarke says. 'Don't lie to me.' Raven says. 'Okay yes, she does.' Clarke says. 'I don't know how.' Clarke says. 'Why do you want to find her?' Raven asks. The way she talks hurts Clarke. She knows she shouldn't have slept with her, but everyone makes mistakes. Right?

'Answer the question Griffin.' Raven says. 'For the case of course.' Clarke says. 'I'm not buying it.' Raven says. 'I just want to find her for this stupid case and then I want to go home.' Clarke says. 'Do you really?' Raven asks. 'Yes Raven.' Clarke says. 'I'm gonna check on Octavia.' Clarke says. She gets up from the bed and walks away. 'She's still in surgery!' Raven yells. Clarke closes the door of the room. She's walking around the hallways. She doesn't know where to go. She tried to find the waiting room, but this place has so many hallways. Suddenly she gets dragged into a dark room. Her first instinct is to grab her gun, but she can't find it. 'Looking for this.' She feels the cold gun in her neck. 'Yes.' Clarke says. 'Lexa what the hell.' Clarke says. Lexa turns on the light. 'I'm sorry that it had to go this way.' She gave Clarke the gun back. 'I just know you won't talk to me if I ask you.' Lexa says. 'And why do you think that is?' Clarke asks. 'I didn't do it.' Lexa says. 'You didn't do what?' Clarke asks. 'Blow up my friends or murder someone on waikiki beach.' Clarke says. 'I didn't blow up the bar.' Lexa says. 'So you are a killer, but I have to take your word on it that you didn't blow up that bar.' Clarke says. 'Please Clarke. I didn't do it.' Lexa says. Clarke heard Lexa's voice break. She didn't know she had feelings. She thought Lexa was an emotionless ruthless killer. 'Lexa?' Clarke's voice was softer than earlier. Lexa closed her eyes and wiped her tears away. 'I'm sorry I shouldn't have come.' Lexa says. She turns around and walks towards the door. Clarke grabs her wrist and makes her turn around. 'Explain.' Clarke says. 'Explain what?' Lexa asks. 'Who did it.' Clarke says. 'Explain who did this or who forced you. Whatever is going on. Explain.' Clarke says. 'I can't.' Lexa whispers. 'I'm trying to believe you Lexa and I don't even know why, but you gotta help me here!' Clarke shouts. 'I can't Clarke!' Lexa shouts. Tears rolled down her cheeks. 'Of course you can!' Clarke shouts. 'You don't know what's going on!' Lexa shouts. 'That's why I'm asking you to explain.' Clarke says. She tries to calm herself. 'I'm sorry. I just can't.' Lexa says. Her voice sounds so broken and all Clarke wants to do is pull her close and comfort her, but she knows she shouldn't do that. She shouldn't do that if she wants to keep her job. She needs to keep things professional.

It takes everything inside Lexa to not turn around and collapse in Clarke's arms and cry with her, but she needs to stay strong and leave. She needs to leave to keep Clarke safe. She needs to leave to not wreck her life. She needs to go and she needs to go now.