An Innocent Spark [Zukka]

Chapter 49: Under The Moonlight

Zuko's eyes flew open, and he inhaled as much air as his lungs could holds. Sweat covered his entire body and had soaked into his bedsheets as well. The nightmares were even worse than before, only this time they were not about his sister or mother, but about all the different ways he could lose Sokka.

When he was finally able to catch his breath, he felt as if he would cry again, but there were no tears left for him to shed. He got out of bed and slipped on his shoes before quietly walking down the stairs and outside.

His feet carried him all the way to the now deserted beach. He sat down near water where calm waves crashed gently against the golden sand. The full moon was high up in the sky above the glimmering ocean and somehow, he felt comforted by it.

He sat there watching the waves and basking in the moon's light for hours. Sokka and him were supposed to be out on the beach walking under the moonlight that night, but now Sokka was off on a boat somewhere heading back to the south pole without him.

"You know sitting in the sand will make your pants be full of it," Katara said, making Zuko jump. She spread out a towel next to him and sat down, her eyes admiring the calm ocean.

"How long have you been out here?" Katara asked calmly. She didn't seem phased in the slightest after what had happened earlier, and he didn't understand how she could be so level-headed.

"A few hours maybe," Zuko said, not entirely sure how long he had been out there himself.

"I won't bother asking how you're feeling, but I want you to know my brother really does love you with all of his heart," Katara said, her calm and even breathing helping Zuko to relax. "Sometimes he makes bad decisions like the one he made today because he thinks they're the right ones. I know Sokka like I know myself, and he left not because he was afraid of other people's judgement, but because he wanted to protect you from it."

"I don't think you know your brother as well as you think," Zuko said and sighed, "I saw the way Suki looked at him, and the way he looked at her. He loved her before, and like you said, he's always been interested in girls until now."

"You missed the way he looked when she wasn't looking at him and you weren't there," Katara explained, "there was a sadness in his eyes, and he looked uncomfortable being next to her. When you went back to the kitchen earlier, he kept looking behind him towards the hallway, waiting for you to come back."

"Then why would he break up with me like he did? He hurt me more by doing that then anyone else ever could," Zuko said and a single tear fell down his face.

"I think he's really confused and lost right now," Katara said, pausing and thinking before she said anything else. "He's conflicted because he loves you more than anything in the universe, but he also knows what is expected of both of you. He is expected to become the chief of the southern water tribe eventually, to have kids and live in the south. While you're expected to marry a woman and have children to carry on your lineage and serve as a model for your nation."

"I don't care what my nation expects of me, I'm tired of living my life for other people," Zuko said, the passion in his voice starting to return.

"I'm sure he knows that, but he also knows how much harder it would be on you if he stayed," Katara said solemnly. She cared so much about all of them and she was there for him through thick and through thin.

"How do I get him to realize our love is worth fighting for?" Zuko asked with sadness in his voice.

"Give him time," Katara said. It was not the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted there to be the perfect word to say, the perfect thing to do to get Sokka back. Time was filled with uncertainty, and he had always been someone who craved having control over his life.

"What if he gets back together with Suki? Or worse, what if he finds another girl and falls in love?" Zuko said, revealing all his fears and insecurities.

"I have a feeling that won't happen," Katara said and smiled and put her hand gently on his shoulder.

"How can you be so calm with all of this going on? I feel like the world is crumbling around me, but you see the be the only one on stable ground," Zuko said, his voice changing to an uncertain quiet tone that screamed vulnerability.

"You've faced assassins, you've faced armies, you've faced your sister and your father," Katara said and actually laughed a little, "If you can get through all of that, then I know you and Sokka can get through this rough patch."

"Sometimes it's easier facing armies than it is facing your own demons," Zuko murmured and pulled his knees up to his chest and held onto them.

The world was a harsh place, one full of judgement and hate, but also one full of love and compassion. He would fight until his last breath to prevent himself from falling victim to the former, because a world full of judgement and hate was what his father had thrived upon. Zuko wanted to create a more accepting and caring world, one where it didn't matter who you loved, but he knew he couldn't do it without Sokka by his side.

"What do I do until Sokka comes to his senses?" Zuko asked hopelessly. He found it hard to imagine a day without Sokka let alone however long the next time he would see him would be.

"You are the Fire Lord, I'm sure you have plenty of things to keep your mind occupied with while my idiot of a brother realizes how dumb he is," Katara said, making Zuko smile.

"Besides, I'm going to make sure I get on his nerves as much as possible until he realizes how good he had it with you," Katara said and donned a proud look on her face.

"We should go back soon, the sun is already starting to rise," Zuko said quietly while gently running his hand through the sand next to him.

"I'm in no rush to go back," Katara said. He was relieved to hear her say that because he was too scared to go back to the place where he had lost the love of his life. The thoughts of sleeping in the bed he and Sokka were supposed to, of seeing the empty half of the closet, of acting like he was fine when he wasn't.

He looked out over the fleeing tide and towards the sun rising above the horizon. Maybe he had lost Sokka for the time being, but the hope that their future still included each other returned with the return of light that came with a new day.