Chapter 36: Summer Secrets

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"You ready for vegas!" Spencer asked kissing my hand.

After alot of of contemplating and deciding I had chosen Spencer and we had been date for a month. I love darnell and I always will, but we are better off as friends.

"I'm ready to see JJ be fucking idiot," I laughed.

Once he walked away jordan and simone walked over.

"Thank you for saying nothing," jordan whispered.

"I think both of you are making the worse mistake of your life, but I'm your friend. So I'll be here to support you," I told them.

"And you will be at the wedding?" Simone asked.

"If that's what you want."

She let out a squeal and hugged me. I am the only one they have told. Jordan trusted me not to say anything and I havent. I've tried to talk them out of it, but at the end of the day its their decision.

"So. Am I going to get to take my girl out tonight?" Spencer asked coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Yeah, you are," I said with a smile.

"You two are disgusting," simone teased.

"Your one to talk," I said with raised eyebrows.

She laughed and went up to her room with jordan. Me and Spencer went to our shared room. He changed in the bathroom and I put on a hoodie and jeans. He came out in a plain tee and jeans.

"You look beautiful, Nix," spencer said and he kissed me.

"And you look handsome," I said once we pulled away.

"I'm damn lucky you picked me," he told me.

I jumped on his back and we walked back down to meet the others. We were walking around all the Vegas shops blowing money on things we didn't need. Although, I personally think paying a small vendor a hundred dollars to paint me twenty one pilots converse is a good investment.

"Really. One hundred dollars?" JJ demanded.

"You call it wasting money, I call it investing in a dream," I told him.

My friends laughed as we continued through the city. The bright lights were blinding but I enjoyed seeing them. I had a whole bunch of fun going through the city. Tomorrow i would be with simone picking out wedding shoes.

Once we were done we all were hanging out in the room. Everyone but me and surprisingly JJ were drinking.

"You can drink," I told the boy.

"I'll drink later tonight. I dont want you to be left out," he told me.

Little did he know the cup I was drinking from was vodka, not water. I never get black out drunk, but I drink enough to stay a bit buzzed. Just enough to block out unwanted thoughts. Mo keeps trying to weasle her way into my life to fix the wrongs of her brother but seeing her makes all the memories of him come back. Not to mention she told me about Preach.

I cant tell if she wants to make my life miserable or make it better. But either way the more I drink the more feelings I can suppress. So with a bit of alcohol and my trusty blade I'm getting through this summer.

"Want to head to our room?" Spencer whispered.

I nodded my head. I said goodnight to everyone and followed spence up. Once we got up he closed the door and started to make out with me. I made out with him until he slipped his hands behind my back, and unclasped my bra.

"Spencer what the hell?" I asked pushing away.

"I'm sorry. I misread the situation," he apologized.

"Its just. This would be my first time willingly having sex. It's a big deal for me," I admitted.

"I love you and want you to be comfortable," he told me.

"You love me?" I asked him.

An unreadable look went across his face but he said he loved me again. And if he loved me he wasnt going to hurt me. Right?

So we continued that night with what he started. And for the first time, I willing had sex with someone and it someone I love and who loved me.

When I woke up the next morning he was gone. I found it odd but got ready. When I walked down I saw simone and liv. Why was liv here?

"Is it okay if Olivia comes with us?" Simone asked.

I nodded my head Yes, a bit suspicious of her showing up. The whole time liv was being mean and judgemental. Yes it was a bad decision, but its our job to be there for her. Plus she isnt going to listen.

Once we got back I went with simone to help her get ready. Olivia did not. I was doing her hair and she looked like she was going to cry.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked her.

"I am about to marry the man I love, and the whole world is against us."

"Simone. You always have me. Always. I'd like to see the world go against us," I said to her.

She let a few tears fall,"you are exactly what I needed, Nix."

Once we finished getting her ready we walked down. Olivia and Spencer nowhere in sight. I didnt question it and walked with them to their wedding. Right before they went up Spencer and Olivia showed up.

"Bout time," I told them both.

After they got done Spencer left before I could speak to him. Does he not care that we slept together. We said I love you for the first time. Does it not mean the same to him as it does for me.

He knows how important that was to me.

After a few minutes I walked back to our suite, but I wished I hadn't.

"I love you liv. I know I shouldnt, but i love you," he said, and then he kissed her.

And my heart completely broke. I thought he loved me. He said he loved me and he slept with me. And then he does this.

"We are fucking done," I said as the pulled apart.

"Pheonix-"

"Save it Spencer."

Right now I needed my best friend. Asher. I booked a plane and was in Mexico in a few hours. He was surprised when i showed up but I needed him. I don't know who was madder at Spencer, me or asher.

"You deserve better," asher told me.

"Like who?" I asked him.

"Like me," he spoke quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked the blonde.

"Did I say that aloud?" He asked, eyes wide.

"You like me?" I demanded.

"How could I not, Phoenix?"

"I have to go asher."

"No. I didnt mean to hurt you," asher told me and grabbed my arm.

"Its not that you hurt me. But I cant hurt liv," I said to him.

"Like she couldnt hurt you. Or me?" He demanded.

"Asher. Your hurt. That's why your saying this. You dont like me," I reasoned.

"I am not like that. And I get that you just broke up with Spencer. I get you arent ready. But I'll be here when you do. Do you know why?" He asked me, looking me dead in the eye.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because you are a once in a lifetime girl. And things that are once in a lifetime are worth waiting for," he told me.

Back to present time

"I'll kill him. Hes dead," JJ growled.

"Its fine JJ. Its why things are so awkward right now."

"If I were you I know exactly what I'd do," he told me.

"Oh yeah. What's that?" I demanded.

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