Perhaps he simply wasn't meant to have happiness. Why else would it have taken such a horrible turn? One would've thought he would've learned his lesson at this point.
Things didn't get any easier, not in the slightest. That kiss was the closest Christine had come to unearthing the old, passionate Erik. The Erik who had actually desired her and loved her. It was beginning to feel as if that man might be gone for good at this point. Thankfully, the man had more than proven that he was an excellent father. Jeanne and Emelie wanted for nothing, even if they couldn't truly express their desires yet. All they had to do was cry once and he was there.
It was similar with little Gustave, though Gustave was a much calmer baby than his sisters. It was surprising but she couldn't bring herself to complain about such a thing. It was a blessing, if nothing else. Even so, the devotion to his children wasn't enough. She needed him to love her. She needed him to desire her. She wasn't sure she could put up with this behavior for too much longer.
It had been three weeks since that day and Christine could do much, much more than she had been capable of at that point. Because of this fact , she'd made a point of leaving the triplets with Meg and her mother for the day. She would throw caution to the wind and she would corner her husband if she had to. She had hurried back down to the home that they shared and searched for him. She found her husband in the makeshift nursery- the sounds of her footsteps finally grabbing his attention. He turned towards her with overly concerned amber eyes.
"Christine? Where are the children? Did something-" Erik was unable to continue his questioning as Christine had grabbed him by the lapels and tugged him down to her level so that she could kiss him properly. His grunt of surprise was muffled and he flailed a little bit before resting his hands on her hips. He'd initially intended to push her away but his subconscious desires had him beat this time. He pulled her closer and pressed himself completely against her. There was another little groan from him as he angled his head in a way that would improve the kiss greatly.
Christine shoved against him, urging him backwards until his calves met the back of a chair and he instinctively sat down. He pulled her down into his lap and pulled away long enough to catch his breath. Rather than questioning what she was doing as she feared he would, he rested a long fingered hand on the back of her head and pulled her into another overwhelmingly passionate kiss. She moaned softly and complied without hesitation, melting into his chest.
The kisses were becoming longer and more frequent. The lack of fight on his part had boosted Christine's confidence more than a little, but even so she decided that starting small was the way to go. He didn't flinch when she undid his cravat and tossed it to the ground and this only encouraged her further. She pulled away from his lips to trail small kisses down his neck. She only stopped when she was hindered by the material of his shirt. She carefully undid the top button and continued downwards. The slight trembling and the way his breath was hitching were both incredibly good signs.
Unfortunately, Erik flinched back into the chair the moment her soft lips connected with the center of his bare chest. He immediately wrapped his larger hands around her wrists and used his grip on them to push her into a more proper position. "No, Christine. We can't... I can't." He breathed, subconsciously licking his lower lip. Despite his resolve returning he had to admire the way she looked right now.
The glazed over look in Christine's eyes faded only to be replaced by tears. She balled her hands up and gave him a weak shove, despite the way he was still holding her wrists. He wasn't truly restraining her, just keeping her hands from wandering too far. "The hell we can't! I'm perfectly willing and you obviously were too! At least until I tried to speed the process along a little bit." She shot back, her voice wavering ever so slightly. It only slightly ruined the firm tone that she was going for.
Erik sighed resignedly, he had hoped that his decision would be easier than this. Clearly he should've known better. He leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to Christine's forehead- something she leaned into despite herself. "I'm sorry, Christine. But I refuse to go that far with you again. I am not risking it." He stated firmly, his tone more rigged than her own had been. There was a hurt gasp from her that he did his damndest to ignore. She'd understand in time. His will just wasn't strong enough for him to explain right now. If he remained, she'd continue pressing. If she continued pressing, he'd give in. That simply wasn't acceptable.
Christine opened her mouth to speak, but by this time it was already too late. Erik stood and turned around to place her down in the seat instead. He immediately withdrew and turned around. He walked out of the room before she could force the words past her lips. She curled in on herself and allowed herself to have a few moments to mourn. Once those moments were over with, she stood and hurried to gather some of her clothes.
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Erik returned later, the children still with Madame Giry and her daughter. He'd just wanted to be sure that he knew where they were. Now that he was calmer and had managed to pull himself together- and she'd had time to do the same, he could fully express why he didn't want to risk making love to her again. He'd nearly lost her for good. While he could never regret the children, he did regret the strain it had clearly put on Christine. He'd rather never feel pleasure again than indulge and have Christine die for real,
The moment he reached his home, the lack of any sort of noise worried him. He searched every corridor and every alcove for his beloved wife. She was gone- as were a great many of her dresses. Despite his best efforts, he'd ended up losing her anyway. He'd lost her not to death, but to her own choice. She'd walked away from him. She'd left him, abandoned him to a life of solitude once more. And it was his own damn fault. This was the last coherent thought he had as an overwhelming pain caused his knees to give out from beneath him and his vision to go black,
