Perhaps he simply wasn't meant to have happiness. Why else would it have taken such a horrible turn? One would've thought he would've learned his lesson at this point.
Once they were down below, Erik let go of her hand and turned around to face her, bottom lip clamped between his teeth. Being vulnerable with her would always be rather difficult for him. Even after they've come so far. It just wasn't in his nature to spill his guts to anyone. He preferred keeping things locked away where the sun couldn't reach.
"It's not something you did. It was a issue with myself." He admitted softly, shifting from foot to foot. He let his voice trail off. He didn't know how to say it, it wasn't something he'd ever wanted to think about again despite the fact that he'd been torturing himself with it.
"Explain." Christine responded shortly, her arms crossed underneath her chest. He could tell that she wasn't just going to buy that. He couldn't blame her for it was perhaps one of the oldest claims in the book.
Everyone seemed to gravitate towards similar statements when turmoil entered their relationship. Sometimes it was true and other times it was simply said to soften the blow a little bit. But he meant this and it was true.
"You nearly died while giving birth to our children. I wasn't going to risk ever having that happen again, Christine. If that means abstaining from such pleasures, then so be it." He finally informed, his tone and gaze equally imploring.
"What if I don't want you to abstain? What if I don't care, Erik?! I didn't die. I assume that I only came close because there was three of them! We can't let one thing ruin our passion!" Christine exploded, though her eyes held something sympathetic in them despite her annoyance.
He could safely assume that she understood, she was just trying to get him to consider her views as well. He didn't have the will or the desire to try and make her understand further. He didn't want to argue and risk driving her away. Perhaps he was simply overthinking and making things more complicated than need be.
"You've got a point, ma chérie. Come here. Let me make it up to you." He responded, slowly raising a hand and crooking his fingers in a come hither gesture. His tone was almost a purr.
Christine should've denied him, should've insisted that they return to the actual point of the conversation. But all the same, it had been so long since she'd actually experienced his touch. How could she say no to the opportunity? Why would she? So she immediately gave in, a bit of an extra sway to her hips- though it was just barely noticeable.
Erik immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer to him. The kiss that he laid against her lips took her breath away quite literally. She mewled and melted into him as she returned the kiss.
He let his hands roam, mostly sliding then up and down her waist before he pulled away, giving her lower lip a bit of a nip. He guided her towards the bed and she followed without hesitation. She allowed herself to fall back on the bed and she pulled him down with her by the cravat, causing it to come loose. Good. It had been in the way.
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Christine laid her head on his bare chest, her hand on his abdomen while he stroked her side with his finger tips. After a few minutes, she raised her head and peered at him. She dug her teeth into her bottom lip as she hesitated for a moment. She decided to just ask to ensure that they didn't have the same issue the next time she tried to become intimate with her husband.
"Do you promise that we're done with this... game of yours? I do not think I can handle you turning me away again. I barely handled it this time." She implored. She needed to hear him say it. Hearing him say it would make it more real.
"I promise, Christine. I don't know how I managed to deny you before. It was harder than you realize..." He admitted, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead.
She nodded and laid her head back down on his chest, feeling more comfortable now. They would have to go get their children eventually and they'd have to figure out a few important things.
But right now she couldn't bring herself to care. She wanted to bask in this. Especially after thinking she'd lost it for good.
