Rain

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Shinobu loved the rain.

Gray skies, heavy clouds, nonstop pouring and the oddly thundering yet tranquil atmosphere it creates.

She found beauty in them.

They used to calm her down. It gives her a sense of serenity. A little bubble to escape to when the world is too much to understand. Heavy burden weighing her down always seem to be lifted with a warm cup of coffee or tea.

Even the noisy thunders saves her from having thoughts that always tormented her. Her spot was always by the window with the best view. Soft pillows, snacks and movies to watch were always ready.

And then he came along.

His silent demeanour, his limited and nonchalant expressions and his sharp eyes that leaves no excuses. He looked so cold and unapproachable yet those same dark blue eyes looked...lonely.

Who knew this man...THIS man made her days and nights a little bit brighter than the last....

From burying herself under blankets to cuddles with soft kisses. From store bought snacks to homemade meals because the two make a good team in cooking....or maybe burning down the kitchen. There's no 'cold side of the bed' anymore, his scent always lingers everytime she wakes up in the morning.

They'd watch the rainfall together. They're content in enjoying each other's warm embraces and smiles as they watch the world around them move on.

He saved her. Just like how she saved him.

Shinobu liked this. No. she loves this. She loves him. He loves her. Just the two of them in their own little world. And she wants it to stay this way and she's sure he does too. They just have to...stay together.

It was perfect.

Eveything was perfect.

......Until it wasnt....

When did the hushed pouring of rain become so loud? When did the small flashes of lighting become so bright and defeaning? When did the silence become so unbearable? When- when did his hands become so cold?

"When did everything go so...wrong?"

The annoying beeping sound of his monitor and the harsh thunderstorm was all that she hears. Its draining her. Yet she's holding onto it because it's where the remaning hope that is carelessly dangling on a thin thread are.

She had ignored her sisters' pleas to take care of herself. She had ignored her parents' daily phone calls. She had ignored her friends' regular visits. She had ignored their worried gazes. None of those mattered— they're not what she wishes to see and hear.

Cold eyes that softens and lights up when she appears, his nonchalant voice taking an adoring tone and his smile that he gives to her and her alone.

"Is it too much to ask...?"

Shinobu hated the rain.

The gray skies looked too dark that she questions herself how did she find enjoyment in them. The booming thunder is too much for her.

It haunts her.

The window room was sealed off. Abandoned and never ever to be used ever again as sweet memories are left forgotten. Windows closed and curtains are shut.

His unused clothes are always washed, pressed and folded. She would wear one of them and hope that his familiar scent would still be there.

But even that was taken away from her.

Everything was mocking her. Waking up alone with one side cold. His scent slowly fading as they are replaced with hers and her tears as she cries herself to sleep falling to deep abyss. Her arms reaching out to him for comfort in scary nights only to be met with nothing but bittersweet smiles and memories.

Don't leave...

Everything seems to pity her. She can still see him with clear eyes at every corner of their home. Sometimes she can see him cooking at their kitchen, she can hear herself teasing him; "You would make a great wife Tomioka-san and you even look the part~".

She can still see him feeding Fugu with a smile. Then a few minutes later she would hear him asking her if they can go to the shop to buy him more food.

She can still see him at his office, surrounded by paperwork, typing away with a new laptop she had gifted him a few months ago. She smiles at the fact that he uses it. Or at least she used to—

Her mind are playing tricks with her. She knows that. Yet sometimes they go too far.

The image of his d̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ barely breathing body has kept her awake for days. Sometimes it would shout at her. Screaming why didn't she save him. How could she forget him. How dare she be ungrateful—

"SHUT UP! JUST....please shut up....."

"I tried okay!? I begged them to save you....I tried everything!"

"You were the one that left me! Y-you told me you loved me! Then why- Why did you leave!?"

In that four bare walls, a lonely butterfly loses her wings as she screams in pain brought by loneliness and longing. The strong walls she had built up has turned to dust. Her heart had turned to fragile glass that cracked to pieces that only he can fix.

Sometimes out of desperation she tries to call out for him. Only to be met with suffocating silence she thought she had escaped years ago when he wrapped his arms around her small frame and gazed at her with love...

Lies.

She brings her knees to her chest. Glancing to the only window she left open, she can see the raindrops and her mind plays one more trick as her reflection was suddenly replaced by his. She frowns. But even then she can see her tear strained face and dull, empty eyes and she sighs as she looks away.

"Why does it always rain when someone leaves me?"

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