christian dior | lil peep

5. the broken hearts club

gus had seemed to be doing better when i left him yesterday morning, i hadn't heard from him today so i decided to drop by on my way home to check on him. i stopped to grab two iced coffees before i went over there.

kennedy
stopping by gus' be home in a bit

addison
okay don't get pregnant
kennedy
STOP

i didn't tell addison that i was at gus' that night, i don't think she noticed i was gone either because she never mentioned anything to me.  this would be the first time gus actually see me looking normal, not in skimpy club clothes or in baggy ass sweats. i was just wearing black jeans with a white tank top and thick black belt.

kennedy
hey, u home?

gus didn't text me back, maybe he was doing something or asleep. i'd drop by anyways just to check and be safe. i'd kick myself if i didn't and something happened to him. the weather had completely 180'd since the storm last night, it was warm, sunny and beautiful. i drove with all the windows down blasting music. the vibes are immaculate, if you will.

i put my car in park in gus' lot, hauling myself up the weird hill the building was on to get to the front door. i got in the elevator and pressed the '4' button, gus' floor. there was another girl in the elevator, she kept looking at me funny. "hey?" i said, she didn't respond "do you have a problem?" i asked. "nope" she said. we didn't exchange anymore words and the elevator stopped on gus' floor.

i stepped out, walking through the blandly decorated hall. i knocked on gus' door three times, no answer. i knocked two more times, still no answer. i could hear some sort of rustling movement from the other side of the door. "gus?" i asked, he didn't say anything. i put my hand on the door knob, just to see. it was unlocked so i pushed on it a little, cracking the door open "hey gus, it's just me, you okay? i brought coffee" i said opening the door slowly.

my heart and stomach dropped at the sight in front  of me. gus was on his couch, another girl sitting on top of him with her tongue down his throat. they both turned to look at me as soon as they heard me step into the doorway. "what the hell gustav?" i asked, putting the cups down on the ground. "who the fuck is that?" me, and the other girl both said at the same time. gus pushed the other girl off of his lap, "kennedy" he said. the other girl could obviously tell something was fucked up, she stood up and moved away from gus.

"i'm sorry i had no idea" she said to me, i shrugged at her. "you didn't tell me you had a fucking girlfriend" the other girl said to him "she's not my girlfriend" gus said. the other girl walked by me and out of the apartment without looking back. "what the fuck" i said, looking blankly at him. "well you weren't really supposed to walk in, but kenny it's not like you're my girlfriend or anything. we aren't actually together" gus reminded me "you just don't care?" i asked, filling with rage "like we're not actually together kennedy it's not like i was cheating on you" he said. "well i was fucking wrong about you. i cared about you gus, and i thought maybe you felt the same about me" i said, disgusted by his behaviour. "i do care about you kenny" he said "why are you fucking other girls?" i asked, his values didn't exactly seem to be lining up here.

"well we didn't fuck, you aren't my girlfriend and she also isn't my girlfriend. i don't see the problem here" gus said like it was obvious. "one night you're texting me that you need me and don't want me to leave, and the next you're kissing other bitches? i don't get it" i said "i do care about you ken, you're special" he said "bull fucking shit" i said, there's absolutely no way he can be telling me that and kissing other people.

"i still like you kennedy, i'd wanna be with you in the future" he said, "in the future? so you have time to go fuck more girls. no way" i said, done with his shit. "just give me another shot" he said, he seemed numb to this situation, like he didn't actually care. "no. you're a fucking douchebag. goodbye gustav" i said, turning around and walking out of the apartment, slamming the door and not looking back.

once the rush of anger left my body, the tears started flowing to my eyes and there was nothing i could do to stop it. i sat at the steering wheel of my car, sobbing my eyes out. why did i expect anything out of him? all guys are the same. i hate him. i never wanna see him or speak to him again.

kennedy
newest member of the broken hearts club

addison
what?
kennedy
gus is fucking other girls, doesn't even care cos were "technically not together"

addison
bbg i'm so sorry, come home and i'll order takeout and we can have a girls night, just us.

i got home, addison was waiting opened armed for me. she embraced me in a hug "i'm sorry ken, you deserve so much better. you're a queen and you deserve the world" addison told me. "i love you" i told her "i love you too" she said.

addison and i sat on the couch all night, she ordered a whole spread of sushi and appetizers that we ate our body weight in. she let me just cry it out while we watched stupid movies, at least i had a friend as good as addison. my luck with men wasn't quite as good.

gus
hey can we just talk please

kennedy
don't talk to me ever again

kennedy blocked gus

a/n
oof sorry guys
hoping to have 1-2 more chapters up tonight :)

chapter question: what's ur favourite pasta shape?, i personally enjoy penne