K19 - Sideswipe fanfiction

🐺 Chapter 9. Isolating

I slept nearly all day. Ratchet had given me something that made me sleepy and this time Sideswipe had to carry me. After he brought me back, he only came to give me some food. I stared at the grey wall next to me. My wound didn't hurt due of the medication but it didn't help against the stoning pain in my heart.

What would Rose and Oliver do right now? I clenched my teeth together, they lost their dad because of me. I wasn't there sooner, I couldn't protect him. I had a flashback, red eyes pierced through my soul and I still felt the pain as he kept hitting me with his knife.

I sat up straight as it started to get harder for me to breath. I tried to calm myself down, but I couldn't. Zane's body and Lecan death. My chest started to hurt badly just as my stomach. My heart was racing and my hands shaking fiercely. I scooted into the corner, trying to calm myself down from this panic attack.

I have had it once years ago, when the nazi's got me. It usually doesn't occur and I panicked over my panic attack. Feelings someone besides me shocked me. "Hey..." Sideswipe had a worried frown on his face while he wrapped his arms around me. "Leave me alone..."

He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. The sound of his strong and steady beating of his spark calmed me down. "Try to breath..." he murmured. I took a deep shaky breath and hold it before exhaling slowly. "That's if..."

Even after I calmed down, he kept holding me for five more minuted before letting go. I moved away from him and sat back against the wall. "You wanna talk?" He asked. I shook my head and looked away from him. "You should, Skye. Otherwise you keep walking around with a nasty feeling..." he said quietly. "Does it matter? It won't change anything and I am still stuck here because William wanted me here!" I hissed before getting up.

"What does William from me anyway?" I shape out hatred. "Nothing... nothing..." Sideswipe said as he got up. "All he wants is you to recover..." he said quietly. I snorted, "come on, he lost his brother..." he said quietly. "Yeah and so did I!" I screamed angrily. "Did anyone care about that? No, only James did and now he's dead because of me!" I spat out. "Because of me... I am stupid... if I hadn't attacked that cop, if I didn't run off and if I had been there sooner, James would still be here and I wouldn't be stuck here in Washington DC!" I screamed and slammed my fist into the mirror. Sideswipe quickly grabbed me and pulled me away from the broken mirror.

Thousands of pieces were shattered all over the floor. "Listen, Skye! It's not your fault. Don't keep telling yourself that. Will it change anything?" He asked. I pulled my hand way and waved him off. "You don't understand! Go away and leave me alone!" I snapped. "I know you're upset and blame yourself... why don't we go to the mess hall get some food or a drive it calms you down... we can get some ice cream. It's a warm day..."

I glanced at him while he grabbed my hand,— having a quick look. "I can cook... anything you want. I am not amazing but I'll come up with something I can make... I just want to do something to get you in a better mood..."

I glanced at him, that was actually quite sweet. "Please...?" He asked. I didn't know what to do with myself either, so I agreed. He smiled and gestured to me to follow him. In the mess hall, I sat down while Sideswipe went into the kitchen for some food. I spotted William talking to Epps like nothing has happened and it pissed me off so badly I wanted to punch his face.

I looked back at the table to distract my mind before it would trigger a transformation. Last thing I want is ripping my stitches again. A shadow fell upon me and as I looked up, I stared at William. I got up, eyed hard. "How do you feel?"

Without even thinking I punched him so hard he collapsed and lunged for him. My teeth changed into razor sharp wolf teeth and I dug my nails, who'd started to change as well in his shoulders. "You've no right to ask me that question!" I spat out. William was obviously horrified and I was pulled off of him by Optimus. "Skye!" Prime raised his voice but I was so furious I was barely able to control my body and prevent me from changing into a wolf again.

"You are not James! You're not my friend and wish you left me in that cage! I rather be locked up and isolated then looking at a person I hate so much I want to tear apart!" I screamed. "I know you're upset—"

I cut him off. "Don't tell me what I am! You don't know anything about me! What I am trained for, what I have been through or how close my bond was with James. He was my partner and best buddy. I protected him and heard him out when he needed someone to vent out... I hate you for not calling him and I hate you for taking me here!" I sneered before I turned around and stormed off.

((Sideswipe's P.O.V))
I was outraged as I spotted Lennox. Skye had hit him quite hard and some blood was dripping from the small puncture wounds from where she had pinned him down with her claws. "I forgot to mention that she's not very font of you and I may add that she was already angry before we got here..."

"Thank you for your feedback Sideswipe!" Lennox said sarcastically. "Hey! I am trying my best to make her feel a little bit more like home but she keeps blaming herself and she's so full of anger and hate towards not only you but also is Cybertronians. You can compare it with how Sunny feels towards us..." I said.

"You think you can do something about it?" Optimus asked after a silence. "I think she's just grieving... she doesn't want to get attached to anybody. Probably because she's scared to lose that person. I don't know... Maybe she's broken but perhaps with time she'll come around. I can't really tell because I am not an expert... and she's right, what do we know about K19, her life, her family or what happened to her during the wars. We are nothing more but strangers to her..."

"It's important she keeps her emotions in check. They have considered killing her because she refuses to work with anyone. She won't stay here forever... if she goes back they'll shoot her for sure if she keeps having this behavior. My brother was font of her, he adored her and she was part of his family. I regret for not calling him back and I have to live with that. The only thing I can do and what I owe him is looking after his partner and and makes sure she won't die... I feel responsible for her and I need to work out."

"I will talk to Sunny... perhaps he can calm her down a little bit..." I sighed. Lennox nodded and left, rubbing his jaw. "Make this work, Sideswipe."

I rolled my eyes as Prime walked off. "Yeah, no pressure!" I mocked and decided to search for my twin. If there's someone I need right now then it's Sunny.