Losing Sawyer

14. Cheers

I've been hiding out in Sawyer's room, desperately trying to avoid anymore run-ins with Cairo in fear I might embarrass myself further. I can't tell if he's still here, the apartment sounds quiet but without knowing for sure I've decided to just stake out and hope that Sawyer brings me food when he finally returns.

Rolling over, I reach for Sawyer's laptop, setting my sketch aside. I need to back away from it for a moment, look at it when I'm feeling refreshed even though I think I'll be mostly pleased.

I barely get settled on the bed, the laptop in my lap when Sawyer's bedroom door swings open and I let out a yelp.

"James!" I cry, my hand over my heart. "You scared the crap out of me!"

He grins, his gray eyes twinkling with laughter. "Easy to do."

Glaring, I close Sawyer's laptop and discard it. The distraction I was looking for switching. "What're you doing here?"

He's wearing chinos, cuffed to his ankle and a T-shirt, his sneakers perfectly white. It's been a thing our entire life, I swear, James and his need for immaculately pure white sneakers. I don't want to call my brother a lunatic but he is when it comes to his shoes, spending too much time scrubbing the soles to ensure they stay white.

"You broke up with Christopher." He says. "Mostly I'm here incase you're upset but also a little to celebrate."

Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. Sawyer texted me midday to tell me we were going to go out and party tonight even though I specifically said I wasn't up to partying. There's a dull ache in my chest, uncertainty over whether I made the right decision. If leaving Christopher was really a good idea or not. A party feels wrong when I'm not truly sure I have anything to celebrate.

"You and Sawyer are the worst." I tell him.

It just gains me a laugh, one of James' hearty ones that makes his head tip back. They seem to start from the very center of him, building and building as they work their way to the surface before they spill out, showering everyone in their vicinity in pure joy. I can't help but smile.

"I'm sorry Van but he wasn't great." James laughs. "But I've got some experience with broken hearts and it sucks to be alone when you have one."

Blowing out a breath, my smile turns into something sad as I reach for my brothers hand.  He takes it, sitting on the bed beside me. He couldn't be more right, having a broken heart hurts.

"Thanks for coming." I lean my head on his shoulder and he pulls me close.

Maybe it's because we're brother and sister or maybe it's due to the fact that we're twins but there's something about when we're together. Like we're two pieces to a whole and when we're separated, sure we can function, but everything feels a whole lot more correct when we're with each other. Right now is no different.

I feel a lot less broken with James here.

                                ————————

They dragged me out to celebrate.

James and Sawyer together are quite a pair. In high school James used to grumble about how egotistical Sawyer was, what a jerk he was to Wes, how arrogant and ridiculous he was.

It wasn't until Brett got kicked out of his house our senior year that the tides started to change between James and Sawyer. By that time Sawyer and I had already become friends.

That had happened the night of Darren's party when Ellie and I walked in on James and Brett making out in Darren's room. I had run out of the hallway and through Darren's house, tears streaking down my face and straight into Sawyer.

I had braced myself for ridicule, for teasing and bullying but instead he led me to a quiet corner of Darren's front yard, stripping off the hoodie he had so I could wear it as the night turned cold and he listened to me sob about how foolish I had been, how hurt I was that my brother didn't trust me.

Sawyer quickly became someone I confided in. It seems reckless now, how quickly I put my trust in his hands but Sawyer was nothing of the person he showed the world.

He was kind, patient, a sympathetic listening ear, selfless really when it got down to it. He never tried to steal my grief or my woes for his own. Never turning the tables to sing his own sad tune.

But you would never know that now, seeing him raise a glass full of golden beer into the air with so much force it slips over the side and down his hand.

"To Savannah!" He shouts over the roar of the crowded bar. "And ditching her awful boyfriend!"

My face beats red as I watch neighboring patrons all looking our way and I bury my head in my hands mortified. But James and Sawyer clink glasses with Jon and Mark and Mark's girlfriend Tori, everyone amused with my love life or lack there of now.

"You're better off without him." Jon leans close, his words flirting through the noise of the bar and into my ear. "He didn't appreciate you."

I peer through my fingers, hiding my blush and say "thanks" even though I don't know if I believe him.

Jon is handsome with straight black hair that seems to be weightless, always styled with the perfect amount of volume. A look that not every guy can pull off yet Jon seems to manage just fine. He's dressed in the suit he no doubt wore to work, the tie pulled loose from his neck. It's impeccably tailored and probably expensive but he wears his suits so much more humble than Christopher ever did. His eyes are soft, so dark that I can see my reflection looking back at me, a sweet half smile tugs his lips showing off a dimple and the slightest glimpse of pearly white teeth.

Nothing more is said between us but we sit there, lingering in each other's gaze for longer than normal. It causes heat to build in the pit of my core, spreading through me, warming every nook and cranny until I feel like my entire body has flushed. It's an overwhelming sensation that makes a giggle want to burst out of me and in a desperate attempt to stop it I look away.

Except I then find myself in a stare off with Sawyer, an eyebrow raised in amusement and a smirk on his face as he nods his head in Jon's direction.

If I wasn't dying from embarrassment yet, I was now.

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We had a beach day yesterday, sunburns for everyone 😂