Don't Mention The Hair

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Once Robert returned, it was clear that there was no way out of his conversation. James pulled a sweater over the shirt he was wearing, then put on his boots and jacket. Rob grabbed his coat.

"I promise I'll take care of him, later guys!" Robert waved at Ollie and Victor. He dressed while heading towards the exit. James followed, quietly.


Robert didn't flinch when he met Oliver, he smiled and shook his hand and his demeanour didn't change once he found out who Ollie was. That was a good start. James wanted to put his faith into that first interaction. Maybe Robert wasn't awful.

"This place is way fancier than my old school," Robert said, dragging his feet through the snow.

It was a calm day. A sunny, winter day that didn't make his face sting. They were walking on the road towards the exit gate.

"Yeah, I guess it is." James shrugged.

Robert stopped. "I have to ask, don't take it the wrong way, but I can't help it."

This was it, James thought. This was the moment Robert was going to open his mouth and confirm his fears. He didn't want to get into a fight with his brother.

"What?" James asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What's up with that hair? I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against uhm... pink? Is that pink? I have nothing against pink, but it's so patchy! Dude, it's so patchy."

James sighed pushed him gently. "I know it's patchy! Ollie did it."

"Ollie seems nice." Robert smiled.

Was this an approval of Oliver or was this confirmation that Robert didn't mind his brother dating guys? James wasn't sure. And he had a hard time bringing it up.

"He's the best," James said, wanting to add that Victor was also great. Keeping that for himself felt like he was ashamed. He itched to tell Robert that Ollie wasn't his only boyfriend.

"Listen, James, I'm sorry for being MIA for so long." Robert scratched the back of his head. "That was kinda shitty of me."

James puffed a laugh through his nose and watched it turn into steam. "You've been MIA since you moved, why the sudden guilt?"

"Well, yeah, you're right. I've been out of touch. But it was a family thing that involved you and I should've made an effort. I don't know, I thought it wasn't such a big deal, because mom's dramas aren't usually big deals." Robert sighed and brushed his hair back. "I should've called you, at least."


James wasn't sure what he felt. He had gotten used to the idea that he was alone, estranged from his family, and now Robert decided he had some sort of moral code. Where was he when James hated and resented everyone? At home, most likely. Happy. Accepted.

"That's fine," James said. He didn't know if he wanted to continue the conversation or not. "It's not like you to get involved anyway."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about it."

"It's fine," he said, trying to sound that everything was ok.

"No, James, listen to me. It's not fine."

There were trees on both sides on the street, heavy with snow. Dead and white. James focused on one branch that looked on the verge of breaking under the weight.

"I'm trying to apologize for being a bad big brother. I should've called you. I should've checked on you, make sure you're ok."

"This," James gesticulated around him, "wasn't my idea. I don't know what mom told you, but I'm here because our parents decided they can't look at me. Does that sound like I was ok?!" He remembered how acrid betrayal tasted; the remnants of that memory were bile in the back of his throat.

"She never told me the whole story," Robert said. "And dad doesn't talk about it. I think they overreacted." He sounded remorseful.

It wasn't Robert's fault that their parents were like that, and James hadn't expected a call from him. It was a clear sign - or obvious proof - that their relationship was deteriorated.

"Severely." James dragged his foot through the snow, drawing a wobbly line.

Robert grabbed his arm. "You're my brother, ok, I don't care about who you date."

"Really?" James snorted. "So I guess mom didn't brainwash you yet?"

"She won't. I'm sorry about not calling. I should've visited earlier. Insisted on seeing you."


James took a deep breath. "It's ok, I was angry when I got here, but not anymore. Turns out it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I met Ollie." And Victor, he thought.

"That's good. I'm glad you're happy." Robert smiled, letting go of his arm. "Maybe mom will come 'round. I tried talking to her, but..." Robert opened his eyes wide and shook his head.

"Thanks, but nobody can force her to accept me and there is no way I'm going to pretend for her."

"You don't have to. She'd probably criticize your hair too."

James felt laughter bubble in him again. "Oh, she would hate it!"

"She doesn't know what's cool." Robert pat his back. "Would it bother you if I tried calling more often?"

"You, calling?" James raised his eyebrows. "Sounds out of character."

Robert shrugged. "Ok, text."

"Ok, ok, and ugm... I'm glad you came."


Robert opened his arms, asking for a hug. James complied.

Yet there was a thought that bothered him.

What if James allowed Robert to be part of his life only to realize that he wasn't supportive of his relationship? Losing Robert after reconnecting would break his heart.

He couldn't wait to test the water, as Vic suggested.

"Rob?" James pulled away. "I have something else to tell you."





Author's note<3:

I think everyone is aware that James is a hardhead! Is anyone surprised?

I think Robert will suffer from a case called "big confuse". What do you think? Any advice? Any other thoughts? Let me knooooow!

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