Regression II

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It was impossible to get ahold of Victor in the next two days. It was as if he was sharing a room with a specter that would only sleep before disappearing into thin hair. Victor would spend his time in the library, in the cafeteria, or with that guy Luke that James still didn't like. More often than not he was with Ollie, doing homework together.

James felt alone.


He had gotten used to their room being empty for most of the day, so when he returned from the gym and almost bumped into Victor, his heart nearly leaped out of his body. Victor was wearing his coat and he already had a cigar between his teeth. Unlit, but his intention was clear.

"What?" Victor raised his eyebrows while taking the cigar out of his mouth.

James walked around him and took off his shirt. "Nothing." He needed a shower more than another fight with Victor.

"Oh, good, I thought you were about to berate me again."

James turned towards him. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? I'm ridiculous?" Victor asked. "Do you see the irony here, or should I explain?"

James crossed his arms and frowned. "Are you looking for an argument? Weren't you just going out?"

"Yeah, ok." He closed his eyes and nodded. "So, you're just gonna ignore me?"

"You're ignoring me," James said. "And I'm still angry at you for disappearing for three days."

"You didn't even give the chance to apologize properly. You hate me, you've made that abundantly clear."

James sighed through his nose. He was standing there shirtless, doing the exact thing he wanted to avoid. He didn't hate Victor, but the words were stuck in his throat.

"Nothing?" Victor lifted his hands in defeat. "Really? Are you going to be stubborn about this?"

"I'm not stubborn," James said, knowing that was a lie. "Are you going to talk about what happened at the trial?"

"Why? So you can mock me? Shout at me? I said I was sorry, what more do you want?" Victor waited for a few moments, letting the silence settle like heavy snow. "Ok, so I'm ridiculous and you hate me. Great, maybe we should reconsider this relationship if this is how you feel."

Then, when James refused to add anything else, he turned around and left.


That evening Ollie remained in Victor's bed. They shared a pair of earphones while watching something on Victor's laptop, cuddled up and cozy. After their show was over, Ollie slid the laptop under the bed. James was trying to sleep but was failing miserably. There were too many things winding him up.

"Vic?" Oliver asked softly. The covers shuffled as he moved closer to Victor.

"Hm?" Victor was on the verge of falling asleep.

"Vic, are you ok? I've been meaning to ask you."

He yawned. "Don't worry about me, Ollie, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Do you want to talk about what happened at the trial? I was so worried I thought my hair was going to fall off. I can't lose my hair, Vicky, it's my best feature."

Victor chuckled. It sent a warm vibration through James' entire body. It was both pleasant and a hard, merciless slap across his face. "I thought you said your butt was your best feature."

"My but is my other best feature," Ollie explained. "Along with my face and hair. I'm a snack."

"I like your hair too, you tiny monster."

"Please don't run off like that again," Ollie said. "Or if you do, text me? We can meet up and talk shit."

"I'm sorry." Victor sighed, distracting himself with one of Ollie's curls, focusing on it like every answer he needed was locked there.

"You can lean on us, you know that, right?" Ollie asked.

Victor hummed. "Thank you." He paused. "Do you think it would be ok if I went to your dad's again?"

"Dad adopted you, you're like his son. I don't know what that does for our relationship." Ollie chuckled.

"Weird and mildly incestuous." Victor puffed. "Are you sure it's ok? I don't want to bother him."

"Oh yeah. Did I tell you that Freckle looks through the entire house, searching for you after you leave? He mews and mews and mews and then he goes to sleep on your pillow. He thinks he's cute when he screams like that."

"It's because I give him treats," Victor said. "And I let him sleep on me."

"I think it's because he loves you. You're not that comfortable to sleep on," Ollie said.

"Stop telling me I'm not plush enough. Do you want to sleep on the floor?"

Ollie snorted a laugh. "I bet the floor is plusher than you." He poked Victor's chest, then rested his head on it. "But even so, I still love you."

A few moments passed. "Are you sure?"

"I would never hate you!" Ollie exclaimed.

Victor shushed him and hugged his head. "Not so loud, not so loud."

"I would never hate you," Oliver whispered.

"I love you too. I'm really sorry for leaving. All I could think about was that I had to get away, and when I was far enough, I couldn't bring myself to call anyone. I thought everyone was going to be mad at me."


James fell asleep thinking about Victor's words. Begrudgingly, he had to accept that his reaction was shit. The more he replayed the fight in his head the worse he felt about it. He had allowed himself to be eaten up by anger and resentment and spew out things he didn't really believe. His mother's yelling popped up in his head. Fuck. He didn't want to be like her.

Way to be an asshole, he thought.

Breaking up was never something that crossed his mind, but now the idea was turning into a tight noose around his neck.

He had to apologize.

The next day Victor left. He was out before James had the chance to wake up. Somehow, the school agreed to let him email his schoolwork and this was proof enough that Victor didn't plan on returning too soon.

Ollie said he might as well stay there till after the trial.


Author's note<3: 

Hey internet frendos, what's up with you? I hope you're having a good week. I hope you ate some good snacksies.

What do you think of today's chapter? James might finally be able to let go of his need to be right all the time!

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