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Alright love, I'm going to get straight to the point.
BLURB;
First off, the opening is great. The problem is after the first sentence, you lose me.
To be honest I didn't even read the blurb when I first opened your story, I roughly skimmed it like; "Ethan is a genius and some other guy doesn't want the Sol Bakery to close down". That's kind of how much it disinterested me at first, and that isn't good since a blurb is supposed to attract readers, you feel me?
One thing I feel you can do to improve this is shorten it. You don't have to explain how Ethan is a genius because readers will begin to pick up on that throughout the story. You could say, "Ethan, a prodigy child." Or "Ethan, top of his class". These are just suggestions of course, and I'm happy to help you come up with more. What's advice if you don't know how to fix it?
You don't have to explain what Sol Bakery is in the blurb because if anything, you want the reader to ask questions that want them to continue reading. "Why is this so important to them?" or "What's so special about Sol Bakery that they can't get from anywhere else?"
The last paragraph in the blurb is perfect, but too bad readers won't get to that part since it's the end of such a boring description. I hope this helped though.
COVER;
I feel like this makes up for your description. It's bright, attention grabbing, and just fits perfectly with the plot of the story. On top of that it gives off the vibe you're going for which I myself envy. In my opinion, it also suits your writing style which I'll talk about soon.
Now onto your writing.
THE BEGINNING (Ch. 1-3): The start its fantabulous, It instantly got me hooked within the first three paragraphs which is exactly what you want as a writer. Now, further into the first chapter you did a great job in introducing the main characters and also the people around them. The way you went from goofy Tweed to grumpy Mr. Feld all while keeping the mood uplifting was admirable. My only problem is that sometimes when there is dialogue between two characters, I couldn't tell who's saying what because you don't use their name, you say "he/she" in place of it. This is not very serious, but me personally I had to reread some of the conversations like three times.
Just some advice; you should add more interactions between others during school. Like there were some encounters that I enjoyed reading; that girl calling him peabrain, conversations with Mr. Fled and Ms. Heifenmeir, or how the duo asked Mara for help. But this only happens ever so often, and that isn't really.. "good" per say, because it's a SCHOOL. And the thing is, you're so GOOD at emotions and reactions between characters that I want to see more of it. Ethan doesn't even glance, wave, smile, glare at others, and nobody acknowledges him during class or when walking the halls. Nobody asks Tweed for help even though he's the cream of the crop, and I have yet to see their study group. Why isn't their group helping them keep Sol Bakery open? I want to know their dynamic and how they get along. I want to know his opinions on other students, like perhaps he has a crush on someone or tries to avoid them like Mara. You get the idea.
Something worth mentioning... Although there isn't much interaction with other people, dialogue definitely made up for this. I love how modern Tweed spoke and used slang words such as "That's cap", "y'all", etc. And how Mara spoke all prim, proper and confident while Ethan had social anxiety while speaking to the council. The diversity of communication was chefs kiss.THE MIDDLE (Ch. 4-6): Woo, I love the rising tension of the story. Things getting heated in their plans to save Sol Bakery. You make such a simple concept so interesting, and during these chapters it made me want to inch on. Along with the banter and comedy that I thoroughly enjoyed you slowly reveal things and that makes it much more thrilling. And lastly, you make even the most basic scenes so heart racing with your descriptions! Bravo. I thought that this would be a boring thing to review because I mean, what's so interesting about a bakery closing? You've definitely proved me wrong with your writing, and I'm not just hyping you up.As a hispanic, the way you not only chose an appropriate last name for Tweed, but you ACCURATELY represented his grandma amused me to the bone, love that. Same thing with Ms. Heifenmeir and that German last name. Also the chopsticks Ethan used for dinner, I assume that has something to do with his family culture.
CLOSING (Ch. 7-10): Other than the bakery fiasco, I adore how you intersect other struggles and drama within a teenage boy's life, it really strides off the whole "cliche" vibe. As a writer, you not only have him attempt to come to terms with his own problems, but you have him realize other people's difficulties while still lighting fire to the flame. Other than that, I've already commented on things and I don't want to get repetitive. So I will state just a few more things before I conclude this sentiment.
First off, I would like to point out how creative the chapter names were. The whole 'DONUTS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR' is so adorable and just something that I've never seen before. Moreover, you make readers feel connected to the story by having the characters go through common problems, like with the identity crisis and all. Okay, now I'm going to stop babbling about what I like and end it here since you're probably bored out you're mind.
I hope you enjoyed this review hon, because I enjoyed reviewing it.
