Eternal Light | Regulus Black

Fifth year at Hogwarts

I was quick with my steps. I didn't look back to my friends, hopeful they were not following me. I didn't want them to look at me. I didn't want anyone to look at me. They knew I was a murderer. They knew I had blood on my hands. My hands trembled as my breathing quickened.

Remember, the thought kept repeating in my head, clawing at my brain. My skin was on fire, my brain was on fire. I stepped outside of school, to the cool outside air of the courtyard, still hastily walking forward, further away from everything.

"Zara where are you going?" Someone yelled from behind me. I couldn't place the voice all I kept thinking about was remember, remember, remember.

I killed the man. Then he killed Regulus. What happened after? Something happened before I started screaming. I was drowning... but not in water — in memories.

It snapped. Everything clicked into place. My still hands let go of the cloak, letting it fall to the ground behind me. My quick steps had turned into running.

Don't follow me, I don't want to hurt you, I wanted to scream at my friends. But I could hear many pairs of footsteps following me.

My brain kept crushing me, I didn't want to remember.

"Please," I whispered, the wind swallowing my pleas. Please don't make me remember.

I was almost at the black lake, and for a second, I contemplated on drowning myself. Could I even do that?

"How could you not tell me anything! Did Regulus even know? Honestly, Zara, how many secrets are you keeping!" Sirius yelled after me.

I think about all the stuff I keep hidden inside me and bite my tongue. Too many.

"Shut up Sirius!" Regulus hissed at him.

I drowned out their voices.

Remember.

I don't want to. My body was on fire, even though it was freezing outside, I stepped into the water, knowing it's cold but I couldn't actually feel it.

"Get out of the water!" Sirius barked, he was too close, I couldn't hold the memories from coming back much longer. I waded deeper into the water, until it reached just below my knees.

"Wait — Get back!" Regulus yelled hastily, not to me, but at the others. He knew what was about to happen.

There was no stopping this now, my memories flooded and my powers sparked like a cigaratte dropped in gasoline.

[The lyrics to Heart Attack by Demi Lovato (only the last bit, the start doesn't fit into this scene)]

"You make me glow. But I cover up, won't let it show. So I'm putting my defenses up. 'Cause I don't wanna fall in love. If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack."

I started singing, trying to channel my powers, trying to control them. My parents faces flashed in my mind as I kept my eyes closed.

"I think I'd have a heart attack. I think I'd have a heart attack..."

My parents, they were saying something but I couldn't quite hear. Zacharias was there. Why was he there? He looked younger, more like my father. He wrenched my mother by her arm, away from my father.

What was he saying? I needed to hear.

Then the killing curse, first on my father, then my mother. Her ocean blue eyes were on mine as she fell to the floor — dead.

"The feelings got lost in my lungs. They're burning I'd rather be numb. And there's no one else to blame. So scared I take off, and I run. I'm flying too close to the sun. And I burst into fla-fla-flames."