Shift | Complete ✔️

16 | To Be Enough

I turned to look at him.

I was intent on catching him in a lie.

"So, you don't want to kill me?" My voice hitched at the end, almost like a hopeful pleading that he reassure me- again.

He was afraid to chuckle at my question, the way he caught the corner of his lip to prevent doing so creating more tension rather than diffusing it.

I didn't think the man capable of being aware of his own dominance and stature.

I raised my eyebrows as if to reiterate my question, given he had yet to actually respond.

"Of course not Edie. Deep down you know this. You can sense it... I know you can."

I gulped.

He wasn't wrong. But I was to obstinate to agree; and too tired to argue.

I ran my fingers through my hair, embarrassment seeping through my pores as I let out a sigh.

"I'm such an idiot. I don't even know how I can show my face anymore."

I shook my head at the realization of my actions.

I was mortified. The rose blooming across my cheeks like a sunset made Phelan aware of the fact too.

He sat down, leaning his back against the bed frame as his face turned to mine. He wasn't close enough to touch me, but close enough to provide comfort from his presence.

I watched as he bent his knee, resting an arm on it as he became lost in deep thought.

"I know if I were in your position I would have thought the exact same..." he trailed off.

"It's... difficult to explain. I gave up thinking you'd find your way here..."

Something in his gruffness gave way to tenderness as each passing word softened further.

But it almost came across as defeated, or resignation perhaps.

I was tentative in my query. I wanted to know more. I took advantage of his vulnerability, and pressed further, "Why do you sound so... so letdown?"

"Because it is a cruel twist of fate Edie. You are my mate and I can't have you. I'm supposed to protect you but I cannot."

His words stung me like a slap in the face. I felt myself wince at his statement, it came across as blasphemous. Did he not see what I had seen?

"How can you say that? You've saved my life- more than once... what is this about?"

I shook my head, confusion etching itself across my face.

"Edie... our culture... our traditions... they serve a purpose for our kind. For you however... I know not of the implications. I'm fighting a losing battle..."

"A losing battle?"

"We run off instinct. I can't stand being around you because I'm on the verge of losing myself and I don't want to scare you or hurt you... I want to keep you here..."

I nodded, all but forgetting my earlier fear. A cautious smile curled from my lips that peeked it's way from beneath my downcast gaze.

Tentatively, I reached my hand out to his, but kept the rest of me still. I was worried that I was going to unbalance the equilibrium between us. I wanted so badly to lean into his touch.

It was the truth that I hadn't been brave enough to admit to myself, drunken Edie not withstanding that is. But given his willingness to put his heart on the line, was it not fair that I too offered the same in return?