𝗥𝗲𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸 **CANCELLED**

e l e v e n

(okay we're back to 1st person guys 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨)

Alexander's Pov:

I sighed as I entered into our home, checking my phone for the time.

8:21pm.

I felt so drained and tired.

Tamara was probably long gone by now, and honestly I didn't want to come to terms with that. I can't believe I let Francesca fuck up my relationship.

No scratch that, I can't believe I fucked up my relationship again.

I should've never let that sneaky rat get that close to me. Especially at Mara's own hotel.

I didn't expect any of that to happen. I just chose Mara's hotel cause to be honest I wanted to see her.

"Fucking hell" I groaned. Was she serious about getting that divorce? I hope not. I can't lose when I just got her.

She's my rock, she's the only reason I keep looking forward to a new day.

Is that a bad thing? The fact that I depend on someone for happiness.

I can't control it though. She just lights up my life. With her cute laugh, her unattainable beauty and her patience.

She keeps me on my toes and I've never been so fascinated with a human being before. She's always so patient with me.

She'd listen to me rant about my terrible day and never once tell me to stop. She'd hug me whenever I couldn't go on anymore, and she'd kiss me whenever I felt alone.

I shouldn't have left my ring at that shop. I wanted to suprise Mara with a customized ring. But according to the jeweler, I had to leave my ring at their shop so they could recreate the exact type we had.

Fuck.

How am I meant to explain that to her? I don't even know where she is.

I have to find out where she's staying, and attempt to win her back. Maybe I should buy a bunch of roses and send them to her.

No. way too clichè.

I walked into my study and picked up a notebook and a black pen from my desk. Sitting down on my office chair, I started brainstorming ideas.

If I wanted to impress her, I'd have to think of all the things she would love and all the things she wouldn't love.

She's not a big fan of having to take care of too many things at once, so maybe I should cancel the rose plan.

Nodding my head, I cancelled the rose plan and moved to the next line.

Okay.

How about a vacation? But we both have work. Right but we're both the owners of our jobs. So we should be able to take a break for at least 6 weeks.

We should go to Bora Bora. She's a huge fan girl when it comes to that place. It's her dream vacation.

Good, we have one solid plan. She also likes personalized gifts. So maybe I should paint her something? Besides the ring.

Painting was a coping mechanism for me, and I never showed anyone anything I'd paint, until I met Mara.

•~•

I spent the last one hour brainstorming more ideas and reading gift things husbands surprise their wives with.

A lot of them are very corny and cheesy but the men's messages were always passed across clearly.

I love you.

That was the message I wanted to send across. And if singing her favorite song while some random men play the guitar would tell Tamara that, then I was willing to do it.

I clicked out of the current YouTube video I was watching. This one man decorated their whole house with roses and did a treasure hunt for his wife.

He used all their memories as hints. Things like; When we first met, I was a wreck, this is the place where we had our first peck.

It's mind blowing how well some of these couples know each other.

It made me realize that as much as I love Tamara, I don't genuinely know her.

I mean I know she loves Bora Bora and owns a hotel. But what do I really know about her?

I couldn't blame anyone but myself. As much as I loved her being my rock, I never returned the favour properly.

She was my rock, but I wasn't hers. And that fucking sucked.

I stood up from the comfy office chair and went to our old bedroom, I needed to change out of this suit, and if possible burn it.

I don't want to wear anything that Francesca has touched before. And If that means burning all my suits and buying new ones, then I would definitely do that.

Entering our room, it felt cold. The bed was made, the windows were closed and everything looked perfect.

But it wasn't. Tamara's walk in wardrobe was almost empty, Except some outfits, shoes and accessories that she probably didn't need anymore.

I sighed and sat down on her wardrobe floor. I miss her.

Snap out of it Xander. I don't have time to be drowning in guilt and sadness. I need to get back on track and try and win her back.

Standing up, I closed the door to her wardrobe and opened the one to mine. I was going to eat and then sleep, so I didn't need a shirt anymore. I sleep in sweats or shorts.

Picking out my grey sweatpants, I removed my hair from its bun and walked towards the bathroom.

Taking off the suit, I threw it on the floor. It didn't deserve to be in our clothing basket.

Plus I was going to burn it, not wash it.

My shower was hot. Really hot. But I didn't feel the heat. I was too lost in my mind. I didn't even realize when the water became cold.

My hands had become wrinkled because of the water. And my hair was soaked.

Shit.

I dried off and wore my sweats. But I couldn't afford to wear only that because my hair was still soaked and was leaving little drops on my neck.

Picking out a small white towel, I wrapped it around my shoulders and left the room.

I entered our black and white kitchen, I might not be as good as my mama. But I'm still pretty good at cooking.

I didn't have that much of an appetite, so I just made instant noodles and boiled two eggs.

I carried my bowl, sat on the couch, turned on the tv and just realised how quiet the house was.

I had never noticed it before, and Truth be told, I've never lived alone. Not even for a day.

First time for everything I guess.

(y'all it's a filler chapter. i have such bad writers block rn. I'm so sorry)