Tidal --- Nikolai Lantsov

5

I wasn't sure If Mal had let us both sleep through the night because he wanted us to get good rest for our long trek to come, or if it was because he didn't truly trust me enough to let me take watch. Either was I was grateful for the extra sleep and didn't mind not being woken up to sit there alone. If Mal didn't trust me that was his fault. 

Alina began catching Mal up on everything that happened at the little palace the night of the Winter Fete as we packed up camp and left to begin walking deeper into the mountains. I chimed in occasionally to explain what I knew about the Fold and everything the Darkling had told me about his plans for Alina and the amplifier.  

As the day dragged on, it only got colder and colder. I was glad to be still wearing by black kefta that was doing a good job of keeping me warm as we reached high in the mountains where there  was still frost on the ground. We stopped for the night and ate. Mal said it wasn't safe to build a fire so we sat there in the silent cold until Mal spoke up. 

"Im taking us north tomorrow."

"North?" Alina questioned, her teeth chattering. 

"To Tsibeya."

"You want to go after the stag?" I said in shock. I thought the whole reason we were on the run was to stop Alina from having to take on the amplifier? 

"I know I can find it."

"if the Darkling hasn't found it already!" Alina was getting furious at him. And so was I. How could he be so confidant? People have been searching for this beast for years and no one has ever even come close to even catch a glimpse of the thing. It was simply a myth until weeks ago.

"No. He's still out there. I can feel it." Maybe Mal had a reason for his confidence. Was there a chance that Mal could somehow sense the stag as I could sense people. 

"And what if the darkling finds us first?" 

"You can't spend the rest of your life running, Alina. You said the stag could make you powerful. Powerful enough to fight him?"

"Maybe." No. I somewhat knew what I was doing when I abandoned my brother and left the little palace but fight him? If Alina could truly be as powerful as we believe, she could kill him. Was that what I had gotten myself into? 

"Even If you find the stag and kill it, you'll need a Meterialki in order to make the collar. otherwise it is basically useless." I tell them. 

"We will cross that bridge when we get there" Mal quickly dismisses me. It is obvious by the tone in his voice that he wishes it were just him and Alina on this journey. 

The two continued to bicker and finally came to the conscious that we would go after the stag in the morning. I tried to go to sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if we did come across my brother. Would I be able to fight my fellow Grisha if it came down to it? I don't know if I could go against him face to face. It had been easy when I was doing it behind his back. Especially when I was mad at him. But now I couldn't help but wonder if I was making the right decision and if my mother was truly telling the truth or not. 

Panic set in as I thought about it. What if she was wrong about him? He would surely hate her. They had been so close growing up and now she had ruined it all in one night. 

Or maybe he was truly evil. Maybe everything that my mother had said had been true and she was simply just a pawn in his game to get full control over Ravka. My mind was racing. What if he had known all about my rendezvous with Nikolai all along. Could he have set me up with Vasily just in spite? Maybe he knew all about how Vasily would treat me and just didn't care because he  was only using me as an in with the king.