This Feeling: Love

Chapter Fourteen

Sam's eyes fluttered open, seeing the sunlight filtering in through Trevor's window above the desk. He tried to get up, but couldn't as he felt a hand around his waist. Trevor groaned as Sam moved, so Sam stayed still except to turn over onto his other side. Samuel brushed some hair out of Trevor's face, and let a sweet smile touch his lips.

Trevor smiled as well, and for a moment, Sam thought he'd been awake the entire time, until the smile disappeared with sleep. Samuel chuckled and moved closer to Trevor, pressing his ear to Trevor's chest, and his heartbeat morphed into a lullaby for Sam, calming his own heartbeat and guiding him toward sleep.

When Trevor woke up, he saw Sam's head, and felt his hand wrapped around Samuel's waist. He sucked in a breath before he went to move, but noticed Samuel's face pressed up against his chest. Trevor relaxed, brushing Sam's hair out from his face. He looks so at peace when he's asleep, he thought.

A soft knock came from the door, and Trevor's father let himself in. "Hey, buddy. Time to get up. Your mother needs your help with getting the kitchen cleaned, and the laundry folded."

Trevor inched his way out from the bed. "I'll be down in a minute," he replied.

His father shut the door to give him some privacy, and Trevor moved toward his dresser to fish out some clothes for the day. While he did that, Samuel woke up from the lack of warmth on Trevor's end. He looked up to find himself staring at Trevor's backside, covered only by a pair of gray boxers until he slipped on a pair of jeans. Trevor glanced over, and Samuel yanked the blankets over his face. "I wasn't looking! I swear!" he cried.

Trevor chuckled. "Really?" he asked. He caught sight of Samuel's ears, flushed red out of embarrassment, and he grinned. "Are you blushing?"

Samuel shook his head violently. "No!"

"Then why are your ears red this time?" Trevor teased.

Samuel covered his entire head with the blankets, and Trevor chuckled again. I'm going to say something I might regret, he thought. "Come on, Sam. I'd let you look at my butt any day," he said.

Sam peeked his head out of the blankets, his ears still a bright red. He stared at Trevor, glancing at his chest every now and then before Trevor moved to finish getting himself dressed.

Samuel stood from the bed as well, and went to get dressed as Trevor left the room. Sam sat on the floor, his head in his hands. "I stared at his butt!" he hissed to himself. He sat there for a while longer before reaching for his duffel bag. He picked out one of the more casual outfits he had, and hurriedly put it on before making his way toward the bathroom to brush his teeth and freshen up a bit more. The more he woke up, and the more he did, the more he thought about what Trevor was going to tell him.

His heart pounded in his chest like a drum, and his stomach went to his throat. Please don't let it be bad, he thought. I don't want to get let down like that.

He took several deep breaths before he went downstairs to join Trevor and his family. Trevor was folding the laundry as Samuel came down. He looked over and smiled. "Let me just finish with this load, and we'll go to Bayview park," he said, glancing over at his mother as he spoke.

All Sam could do was nod. This is it, he thought. I know it is.

He sat on the other couch, staring at his hands, unsure of whether to help or to sit still. Before he knew it, Trevor was done folding his load of laundry. He placed his hands on Sam's to get his attention. "Come on. Get your shoes on and let's go," he said.

The two of them got their shoes on and left the house. Once the door was shut, Trevor took a deep breath. "God, it is unbearable in that house."

Samuel nodded, but said nothing, his mind racing. I think I'm gonna be sick from this anxiety, he thought. Once the two of them were out of sight of Trevor's house, Sam grabbed Trevor's hand.

Trevor didn't pull away. Instead, he smiled and inched closer to Sam. When they reached Bayview Park, they saw all the kids playing, and groaned.

"Why do the kids have to be here, of all times?" Trevor asked.

Sam pointed to a bench as far from the kids as possible. "There's a bench right there we can sit on," he suggested.

On their way to the bench, Sam piped up. "So...what is it you wanted to tell me?" he asked.

Trevor only chuckled. "Let's wait until we're at the bench to talk about that," he replied.

Sam ripped his hand out of Trevor's. "You made me wait for long enough! I feel like I'm going to be sick if I wait any longer for this. Don't torture me again!"

Trevor sighed. "I was gathering up the courage to tell you, but I think we're far enough from the kids to talk about it." He paused to look around for anyone listening. "Do you ever get this...tightness in your chest when you're around someone?" he asked.

Sam nodded, not meeting Trevor's eyes. "I do, actually." He said.

The two of them sat on the bench, facing each other. "Do you ever get it...with me?"

Sam paused to think of a response. "Sometimes," he answered. He still didn't let himself look Trevor in the eye.

"I feel the same way," Trevor said.

Samuel's head shot up at the words, his mouth gaping open to say something, but nothing came out.

Trevor's hand snaked on top of Sam's to hold it while planted on the cold bench. Sam let it be, resisting the temptation to grab hold of it with some difficulty, his heart pounding in his chest, calling for him to hold Trevor's hand in return.

"Do you...want to be...in a relationship with me?" Trevor asked.

Samuel fell silent, until Trevor forced their eyes to meet. "Do you?" he asked.

The silence stretched for an eternity, until Sam tore his eyes away and spoke. "Lately, I've been getting this feeling in my heart whenever I'm around you. During the summer, I only just recently figured out what it meant."

Trevor cocked his head to the side. "What does it mean?" he asked.

"It means I'm...It means I love you."

Trevor recoiled at the words. "Sam..." he started.

Sam continued before he could finish his sentence. "I realized I've been feeling this way ever since my emotional break-down. Being held like that was something I didn't know I needed. The way you've treated me since we met up again has become almost intoxicating as of late, and that dream I had of...us...in your room, could only mean one thing." He paused to meet Trevor's eyes. "I love you," he finished.

Trevor's hand tightened around Sam's, and Trevor's chest tightened. "Sam, I...I...I feel the same way."

It was Sam's turn to recoil. "You do?" He asked.

"Of course! Every night, I couldn't fall asleep until I thought about being with you. All I could think about was you." Trevor cupped his hand around Sam's cheek. "You've always been on my mind." He moved away from Sam and the two of them watched the children playing on the playground as silence filled the space between them, until Trevor spoke up again. "Sam?"

Sam glanced over. "Yes?"

Trevor faced him. "Can I...Can I kiss you?"

Sam's eyes widened. "...I...um...sure..."

Trevor leaned in for a kiss, the same way he did when he visited Sam's house not too long ago.

As Trevor leaned in, Sam closed his eyes and relaxed, reaching his covered hand to grip Trevor's.

Trevor's lips pressed themselves against Sam's and Sam almost sank at the feeling of Trevor's arms moving around his waist. Trevor moved his lips a little, but Sam pulled away before anything else could happen.

They stared deep into each other's eyes, and Sam smiled. "I love you, Trevor."

"I love you too."