Funny facts about life

Part 6

1. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

2. I dream of a better tomorrow...where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.

3. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

4. Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what's the point of practicing?

5. When nothing goes right, go left.

6. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back, and let the world wonder how you did it.

7. Boys fall for me - Because I trip them.

8. Adults are just kids with money.

9. Teacher: Where the hell is your maths homework?! Me: It committed suicide. It had too many problems.

10. To learn you must make mistakes; when you make a mistake you often will get in trouble. So then why do teachers punish you when you get into trouble if you are only learning, which is exactly what they want you to do?

11. If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

12. Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

13. That awkward moment when Harry's eyes aren't like his mother's.