1. Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it.
2. Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs.
3. Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.
4. I wasn't lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.
5. I'm smiling. This should scare you.
6. It takes patience to listen.. it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
7. Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
8. Suicide: Mans way of telling God - "You can't fire me, I quit".
9. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
10. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
11. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
12. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
13. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
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Funny facts about life
HumorApparently these things I think up are funny. Everyone says so at school so why not post them on wattpad?
