hello? (a mcu wrong number fanfic)

31. W.W.C.A.D. ?

is this whole book practically me just making fun of steeb because i'm salty after endgame? yes. now enjoy some more >:)

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You walk out of your apartment building and to the sanctum sanctorium. You harshly bang on the door not stopping until Wong opens it looking quite alarmed.

"I'm here for magic man."

Wong doesn't have a chance to answer as Strange is pushing past him and exiting the door. Levi is following behind him.

"Nice hair Anna," you say to him.

"Thank you. Nice shirt," Strange says.

You're wearing a shirt that says, "Futon is short for fig nuton."  An edited photo goes along with it of a futon with the cushions made of fig nuton bars.

You both start walking leaving Wong standing frozen in the doorway, confused.

"So what do I call you? Stephen? Steve? Strange? Soccer Supreme? Merlin? Steph? Time Man? David Tennent? Doctor Who? Bob? Jon Claude Van Damme-"

"Strange is fine," he says, quickly cutting you off. Jokes on him, you already got 11 nicknames in before he did.

After a couple more minutes of you walking down the sidewalk you try and start up conversation again.

"Lightning McQue-"

Strange doesn't even let you finish. He just opens up a portal to the compound's living room and pushes you through before following behind.

"Rude! ....Eh, That's in the past now. Soup time!!"

Bucky calmly walks over and hands you a bowl of soup. "Now show us the PSAs," he says like this is some kind of hostage negotiation.

"Bucket," you nod. You eat a spoonful of the soup. "This is sufficient payment. Now lookup 'rapping with cap' on youtube. Thank me later."

You sit down on the couch and eat your soup, preparing for the chaos to commence. Strange sits beside you. Levi floats behind the couch.

Steeb sits in a chair looking embarrassed. Borky looks giddy.

"You mean these videos were on youtube this whole time and I didn't know?! I have FRIDAY do constant searches for blackmail material how did I not find it?! I mean she does searches for- Actually I don't know any other way to explain it," Tony says.

"Tin man, do you have any blackmail material on me?" you ask.

"Sadly I don't," he frowns.

"Guys shut up! I found the videos!" Bucky yells. Steeb puts his head in his hands.

"So you got detention. You screwed up. You know what you did was wrong, the question is how are you going to make things right. Maybe you were trying to be cool. Take it from the guy who's been in ive for 65 years; the only way to be cool is too follow the rules."

"Says the man who became a war criminal," Bucky interjects.

"Like you're one to talk," Clint quips back at him.

"...We all know what's right. We all know what's wrong. Next time those turkeys-"

"BAHA TURKEYS," Tony wheezes.

"-try to convince you otherwise, ask your self: What Would Captain America Do?"

You hold up your wrist. On it is an embroidered bracelet that has the acronym: W.W.C.A.D. ?

"No way," Sam says in awe.

"I've started a business. You can buy one for $12.69 on my website."

Sam quickly pulls out his wallet and hands you a twenty dollar bill. Which you take in exchange for your bracelet.

"I can't believe you let Fury talk you into that," Nat says, shaking her head.

"I had no choice! It was either that or he'd make me do jazzercise instruction videos."

"You'd probably break your hip doing jazzercise," Wanda deadpans.

Steeb stares at her in shock.

The room quiets and you lean back on couch and loudly slurp your soup. Everyone turns to look at you.

"What? What did I do? Do I have broccoli in my teeth?"

Strange just shakes his head. "Are they always like this?"

"You should have seen the 9ft tall Shrek statue," Bucky says like that would answer his question.

"The whAT!?"

"And the 14 pounds of pizza I made."

"That WE made," Loki corrects.

Strange's eyes widen further in surprise, or alarm. You weren't really sure. "F o u r t e e n p o u n d s of PIZZA?!"

He freezes, just like Steeb did 70 years ago. You've broken him.

"It must be the shock," Wanda explains.

"Must be," you say before loudly slurping your soup again.

Bucky resumes the playlist of Steeb's PSAs. Strange continues sitting there staring into space.

After 30 minutes you all finish the videos, and you finish your soup. Strange is still frozen, but since he's technically your transportation you try and un-freeze him.

You try everything from ice water to smelling salts. Eventually the thing that brings him out of his shock induced state is the sound of Tony's coffee pot beeping.

"Is that coffee?"

"Finally," you sigh, "It's time to go home Hermione Granger from Prisoner of Azkaban."

"Coffee first."

You and Strange magic out of the compound after he gets his coffee.

"See ya later alligator," you say, waving.

"In a while crocodile."

-

was that chaotic enough ? i hope so

why do i keep making harry potter references?