Love

"Freedom"

Yesterday I saw two kids running around in the park where I usually spend my time alone. Looking at them, I realized the goals, dreams and accomplishments I wished as a child all seemed like a lie.

But it's not so bad since I have a stable job, I open the can and drank some coffee. Even though it's a stable job, it's suffocating. Looking back I ask myself.

Did I become a little free than I was before? Or...did I just know and accepted the darkness?

"You actually can't seem to fit in but you wanted to stand out."

Shut up, I don't need those thoughts at this point of life. I stood up and went to my apartment, ignoring the piled up dishes and dirty clothes I threw myself on the bed.

"Isn't this okay too? I mean.."

Yeah...it is...because I feel alive. Somewhere deep down, I can feel that my heart is beating and I'm living properly as a 'good member of society'. After all, those times when I hated someone and those promises I used to believe in disappeared with the flow of time.

In a way, it's freedom.

"What did you really wanted to say to that kid back then?"

Probably nothing important.

"Then why does it hurt here even though you're smiling?"

...it's probably the smoke from the factories.

"If I wasn't born...then I couldn't have tasted life right?"

Maybe that's why I'm too scared to jump right now.

But what do you experience when you die? Is it a long, dark tunnel full of regrets and wanting compensation from life, described like in those books? Or is it just eternal peace of freeing yourself from worries?

No one knows their ultimate goal for life, and it can't be helped I don't know...so..

"I don't know...why don't we jump to see?"

Maybe tomorrow.

I don't know, so I'll just live the way I want. 

I mean it's fine right? Living irresponsibly the way you want. I feel alive just like that, in my body a sensation of moving fluid is there.

---------------------------

With the flow of time, I too disappeared. So in a way, it's freedom. 

Always lost but...
"You found a place in me right?"
In myself...then yes.

{The End of ' "Freedom" '}

< To be honest, I don't know what to feel about this one, I just felt like writing it. :3
I'll write a better one for the next one-shot.>