Love

Colors

TW : This may include some sensitive materials so if you're okay with it, you can please click away. And BL :P

The world that exists in my eyes were once colorful, my mom was yellow, she took pride in things she did and would always be smiling. My dad was white, he had respect for every each being he met and would think logically, but sometimes when he becomes too flexible. 
He turns gray.

It was always pretty and fun to have a colored world, but the only thing is...I don't fit in that world. Because when you go outside of the small bubble your parents raised you in, the colors start to fade away, like how the roses would turn from red to black due to the cold.

The world I entered in high school was all gray, if you do something different, you're either admired by others, or you're criticized by them. But even if it was gray, there was always a spot where their colors were different. 

Like how my mom still had yellow over her chest, my dad also had white. Then I wonder...what color do I have? 

I didn't learn anything I didn't know in school, it was a system which keeps you in check for you to 'enter adulthood', but I'm not saying it's bad. Just the people inside in are. In my perspective, black didn't come from white, white came from black.

The impure senses all humans have are hard to erase, even harder to get rid of. But once you do, you find something unexpected in the pool of darkness, a small fish of white, glowing scales would swim. Then other colors would burst out.

But that's just what I think. It doesn't affect people if I keep my thoughts to myself, right...to myself...just like back then.

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"Hey, did you do the homework?" 

"A-ah, yes..here..." the boy handed over his book with his slim hands, they were pretty in my perspective, but people tend to call him names. So it was best if I didn't get caught up it in and keep things to myself.

Green. 

It just keeps piling up...and I hate it.

"They're using you, well not like you can tell the teachers too right?" I handed him a sandwich which he took. As expected the roof is the best place to talk to him.

"...I...don't have any friends so-" 

"So you're just gonna let them meddle with you while you keep sucking up on their attention?" I asked, ah...it's really pissing me off.

Red.

"I know it's strange but I've seen them do worse to other kids." he averted his eyes and opened the sandwich. 

"Why don't you...transfer, there are other schools too and..." I stopped talking when I saw him trying to contain his tears. 
'Boys don't cry.' Yeah right, boys are humans and humans have feelings. So right now his color is probably blue, but darker than the sky I'm looking at.

"If you want someone to talk to, come up here at lunch." I'm not offering him to be my friend, just someone to open up to, sometimes there are things where you can only tell strangers and hope they'll forget about it. 

Pink.

--------------------

When I walked into the classroom, I saw my name on the board written with hearts with his name, labeling us that we were something special, funny that the only special I know...died a long time ago. 

I sighed and erased the board, laughter went around the room. Control, have control...Red if I say something, I'll only be laughed at and be called worse just because I spent my lunches with him.

"Can't you guys do anything better?" A girl with short caramel hair stepped in and threw a bucket of water on the board, she then helped me to erase it, her eyes...are mad for sure.

"Oh what? You're one of them too?"

"That's gross-" 

Bang

She threw the duster to one of the girls and said, "Maybe if you guys didn't exist, then Jasmine wouldn't be dead! Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you people, going around and giving other students insecurities? Ya think it's fun? Well then," 
She pointed to the guy who used to pull his hair.

"Your mom used to sleep with men all around didn't she? Funny that you're doing the same thing ya man whore." She pointed to the girl who was laughing.

"Funny that if ya don't get a nice score ya dad beats you up, that's why ya wear long sleeves." She then breathed out and said.

"What? I thought we were having fun eh?" The whole class went silent as they glanced away from her.

"Y-you think you're in charge here?" the boy at the back said.

"So? Ya think ya can stop me? Go ahead, hit me, I can report all of ya lil 'pranks' to the teachers, sure they ain't gon do much, but...how bout ya parents?" She smiled at them. At one point, I could see...she was red, red with anger, frustration and satisfaction. 

If...I did the same thing back then...would he still be laughing with me on the rooftop? I grabbed my back and ran to his house. I slammed the door open and saw him in tears. If this emotion was now a color...it's plum. 

A sour taste when you first have it, but it turns sweet and you can't stop yourself from having more of it. I hugged him and apologized that I didn't stood up for him when he was facing those terrible times, I told him that I regretted that I didn't call out his name earlier. I told him that...

"I...don't wanna lose you..." I couldn't see his reaction, but I could feel that he was holding back from rage. 

"Even if you get called names?" I nodded.

"Even though I'm..." I nodded.

"I don't care, I don't care what kind of future you're gonna walk through. But I want to be in your future..."

Right by your side.

"My butt hurts..." As he said that, I hugged him and apologized.

"It's not your fault, you came back with the teachers right? Thanks..." I cried, knowing how much I've hurt him and scarred what we had. Even though it wasn't something sweet, I enjoyed what we had...

"Really, you're kind." He laughed as he looked at me. 

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"Uwahhh, I'm glad we're moving in together!" I let out a sigh of relief as he held my hand. 

"I'm happy that people are nicer these days..." 

"Yeah...maybe it's cuz they're tryna understand people like us." he shoved my shoulder.

"What do you mean people like us? We're still the same as them, just different in preferences." 

"Woii, ya lovebirds taking too long!" she called us from her car, she held her baby's hand as she waved to us. 

"Let's go." He pulled my hand as I gripped on the papers...

Slowly, the seasons changed where the plum blossoms passed...now...it's pink.

{The End of "Colors"}