I cant bring it up with him. He wouldn't know how to fix it and this is a thing between us. Something that we need to figure out. I don't want to overwhelm him with emotions he cant relate to or solve.
I was told you were jealous. I am too. It's weird because neither of us like him like that and yet we're still holding onto him as if we do. I don't wanna be in a relationship, neither do you, and yet we still watch each other get closer and closer with this man and get jealous over each other. I'm closer with you than I am with him so why don't I just bring it up with you. I know you'll understand. I know we'll figure something out to not be jealous anymore.
Communication is key in every relationship. However romantic or platonic it might be. So I need to get used to confrontation. If something is making me uncomfortable or jealous I need to tell you. We're looking at living together for college and I'm stressing over our mutual "relationship" with a guy neither of us wanna date.
The thing that gets me most when I know it shouldn't is that you know things about each other that I don't. You've known each other longer of course you'll have memories and inside jokes. I just haven't had a lot of that in my life so I get jealous and envious of you. I don't want to have a jealous heart. I want to be happy for you two that you've stayed together for so long... But some of the things he says to you in the same ways he says them to me just make me so sad for some reason.
I'm scared to get too close to the point of pushing you all away. I've done it too many times with too many people I cared too much about and I care way way way too much to do it to you. I'm comfortable with you. I'm happy with you. I wanna keep you in my life as a friend and a sister. I like who I am when I'm with you and I don't want to push that away.
But then there's... h i m. The man of the hour. I love it when we gang up on him. It's funny and makes me feel like I'm part of the group. But after so long of sitting in a group of three and being the one made fun of and thrown away and chosen last... I get scared of that feeling again.
