Im her sun and shes my moon. I love her.
She makes me feel so alive and understood and like i finally have someone who i can confide in and listen to that wont only do it for themself.
She isnt perfect. She's curious and sometimes she can be impulsive and careless but she's never careless with other peoples emotions. She's only ever impulsive or careless with her own. I wonder if she wasn't so curious of what will most likely hurt her, if maybe... we would exist by now.
If something does happen how will she react? I've been wanting something to happen for so long now. I've been waiting for the snap where i break and do something impulsive or careless because ive wanted to for so damn long. And now would be the perfect time. But its really hard to do that. Its really hard to be impulsive and reckless when I care so much about her comfort and her level of feelings.
Right now i feel closer to her than I ever have. She makes it so easy to sleep. Not because she talks me to sleep or cuddles me to sleep... her just being there is more than enough. Being able to open my eyes and be so instantly infatuated by a singular person is so comforting.
I dont want to get stuck. I dont want to get so comfortable as friends that we never give ourselves the chance at something more. I see her and I want to do things I could only see in movies. Not the sexual things... but the romantic-
I love her and i want to show her just how much I do.
I guess by dealing with Jax without biting his or my own heads off I'm showing an inch of how much I care.
I'm so fucking tired. it hurts ill admit. I know she feels safe in his arms. she feels loved in his arms. but he makes her do things she doesn't want to out of the selfishness in his heart. he makes her depend on him. he makes her alone. he makes her hurt.
I want to make him hurt.
but
i
cant
