The Secret Shrink

Fast falling, fast shattered

Sharon's narration
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             I had just completed my diploma and I was so excited to finally be out in the job market. I worked my way through college so having a well-paid internship meant a lot for me. I was new to the organization but not to the community as I had interacted with them severally during my college field trips. It was my second week when I finally met the hot guy that everyone in the organization said wowed all the newbies and well I was not disappointed his looks definitely matched his reputation. It was like watching one of those telenovela scenes where the handsome lead star walks in after a long wait.
          His eyes were as white as a newborn baby untainted by the dust and well he did have the innocent sparkle as well or, so I thought. He had well-kept short hair and although he did not wear an earring that day, I could spot his pierced ears. They were medium-sized ears that I could picture whispering private jokes to in my head. His skin color, well like those famous dark chocolates from the Swiss. He wore a long-sleeved checked sky blue and a grey casual shirt that at the time was fashionably folded to his elbows. He wore well-fitting black jeans. He had the latest fashion of nike sneakers. And well, his smile, wow it was a killer one that actually made me forget everything for a moment. When he approached me, it was like walking right into a dream.

             I knew he was just welcoming me to the organization just like everyone else but well meeting such a handsome guy on a personal level after being engraved in books all my life set on a goal that I was finally achieving, was amazing. I needed to relax and enjoy the beginning of my long-awaited career. I could feel I was one step to going back home to reunite with my mother whom I didn’t even know if she was there or not. Well I. Simple terms, he was handsome, and I had a huge crush on him.
           A few weeks later with him accompanying me in all my field visits and me him to all his support group meetings, I fell hopelessly in love with him and after three months of knowing each other, we became a couple. We kept it a secret from everyone until we knew how serious we could get. Then the worst happened. We took it to the next level too soon and too unexpectedly I got pregnant six months down the relationship with just our first sexual intimacy. It was my first time and believe me I did not see that moment coming but it was amazing he treated me like a queen and cared for me even through the process. I was not on any family planning method and we did use protection well, for most of the night.
The organization had just handed over to me a permanent three-year employment contract. I was so overjoyed so when I collapsed next to the bus stop most of my colleagues thought it was over excitement. When the doctor from a nearby clinic where I was rushed told me I was expectant, it was a mix of emotions of excitement and confusion. I wasn’t sure whether to cry or laugh to tell my prince charming or keep it a secret. I requested the doctor not to mention it to anyone and to write me three days’ leave to process the news. I needed those three days. On day one I cried all day and all night, and I could not eat anything I guess my mind was in shutdown mode. On day two at least I managed to eat a snack. On day three I composed myself and called Mrs. Janet. She was a mother to me after all, my own mother entrusted her with my life many years ago. She was excited for me or she sounded to be but I knew her all too well I could feel the disappointment in her tone especially when I disclosed my partner. She advised me to calm down and she was on her way.
          She did not come alone; she came with Sister Anna. She introduced her as a therapist in case I needed to speak to her. I shared all I had in mind with the two ladies who listened carefully and gave me encouraging words. They were both not surprised that I didn’t know whether to tell Harry, but I had to, otherwise I would have to leave my newly confirmed job and that was not an option for me. I had waited for it way too long and worked so hard. We all agreed that I should do it in the guidance and counseling office with Sister Anna as my shoulder to lean on in case I needed one, they said.
         They were right, I definitely needed one. When I broke the news to Harry, he was quiet for more than thirty minutes and Sister Anna had to speak first to get me out of the misery of waiting for a response. He sat there staring at the ceiling the whole time no words no reaction. Tears flowed from my eyes like water. Then he said the most unexpected thing “I think she should abort” then he walked out. I felt my heart shatter within my chest.
There was no way I was going to manage to raise that baby on my own but still, I couldn’t abort either. I mean he had the option of us having the baby then putting it up for adoption open or closed if he never wanted to meet my baby. Since Sister Anna had broken the silence with that suggestion, but he still chose that and left no room for discussion.
                             ****
         Jenny watched as Sharon cried out in pain from narrating a part of her story that she was sure Sharon would have preferred to keep buried. However, she could see the relief in her face from a release of things locked deep within. They sat on the couch as Sharon cried on Jenny’s shoulder. After she was all calm, Jenny picked up her things packed Sharon’s things, and handed them over to her.
“Thank you for sharing I hope you feel better. We can handle the issue tomorrow. For today we go home and relax. Go rest and if you can write a letter to Harry and express your heart then bring it to me in the morning. If you can’t no worries one step at a time dear,” Jenny said as she walked her to the door and they left together. Their shot journey home together was rather silent with a few words here and there about their surrounding but not a word of Sharon’s narration.  Jenny was glad she had opened up and although she knew she needs to remain neutral, she couldn't help but feel Sharon's pain.