The Secret Shrink

The Journals

           They reluctantly took the journals from each other. They were surprised as they both learned that the dinner was all planned to get them together and, on the realization, they were both fines with the fact that Jenny knew their story from both angles.

      “I know you are both surprised that I have been talking to both of you about the same thing. I promised each of you to help you with this situation to the end and I promised myself to do all I can to ensure I keep you both on the project. Talking to each other face to face about what transpired between you might be hard but from what I have discussed with both of you separately, those journals hold everything you want to tell each other. Be open-minded as you read, and we shall meet at Terry’s Bistro on Saturday as agreed earlier,” Jenny told them being sure to show them that she cared for both of them.

             They bid Jenny goodnight and each left in the cabs that Jenny had already called and paid in advance to take them home. They were to take their time to read through each other’s journals, write a short response and meet in a restaurant two days later on a Saturday afternoon for a joint session. The outcome of the session would determine who would leave or stay on the project. She also requested them not to answer each other through text or calls everything was to be written down and they would have a chance to talk at the restaurant two days later. She was sure her terms would ensure they both showed up. The journals were her fall back she knew once they read each other’s thoughts they would have responses and would definitely show up to that meeting.
           
           Sharon could not wait to get home and she started reading the journal as soon as she was in the cab, by the time she was home her blouse was already wet in tears and the driver had to support her to the door. He asked her if she needed him to call someone as she was sobbing and seemed weakened by whatever she had been reading in the car. She told him she would be fine and closed the door behind her. She ran to her bed and buried herself in her pillow and cried loudly. She did not know when she fell asleep but when she woke up, it was two in the morning. Instead of getting into her bed properly, she picked up the journal to continued reading. It was seven pages of the handwritten message which she read and reread until it was morning taking sobbing breaks. When it was daylight, she took a shower some painkillers for her headache which she got from all the crying, and slipped into her bed for a nap. She slept hugging the journal like a prized trophy she did not want to lose and though she was composed, tears just rolled down her eyes as she reflected all she had read.

             Harry had narrated everything she had told Jenny to her apologizing for everything after every few sentences and expressing his desire to make amends for what he had put her through even wishing she had had the child and promising to do all he can to ensure if their baby was out there he would return him or her to her arms and support them even if she was no longer interested in him.

           Deep down she thought of the possibilities that would have been if she had gathered the strength to talk to him herself and imagined the type of ring he had custom made for her. The thoughts of having him at a hospital while she delivered Rose and breastfeeding her child with him by her side every day and every night. Their child would be one year and two months now, and yes she counted every day that passed. These thoughts warmed her heart and all she felt through the pain was love for Harry as she dozed off to dreamland.

                            ***
           Harry was not sure he wanted to read Sharon’s journal. All he did the entire journey to his house was look at the journal and try and imagine all possible scenarios of what was written in it. He requested the driver to stop in one of the 24-hour shopping marts where he bought some painkillers and food to last him the two days. He was not planning to leave his house until the very day he was required to meet Jenny and Sharon.

           When he arrived home, he got some of the frozen yogurts he bought and set himself on his couch as though to prepare for a long-awaited release of his favorite movie. He opened the journal and begun to read. He could not believe his eyes and soon his tears begun threatening to turn his sweet frozen yogurt sour. Contrary to his expectations, Jenny had written very sweet and amazing things about him in her journal. How they met and how she felt secure and loved when they were together. He knew most of the story of her dilemma to tell him of the pregnancy but nothing in his sweet or sour imagination prepared him for what he read about what happened when he stormed out of Sister Anna’s office.
    
          By the time Harry finished the first part of the journal, his frozen yogurt was no longer frozen but it was still untouched. He placed the journal on his study table, returned his yogurt to the fridge, and took a shower he could feel his head throbbing and he took a painkiller and carried Sharon’s journal to his bed. He also carried a face towel in case he needed it. He reluctantly opened the next page of the journal, but it was empty. A streak of pain went through his spine as though he expected more. He wondered if she was so sure he was content to know she had aborted their child and had written no more.

           Harry however, felt in his heart that there was more, she must have had more to say to him. He started turning all the pages in the journal even as far as the other end of the notebook hoping to see more. He even shook it upside down to see if a letter would fall off of it. He had perused through end to end several times then while he was about to lose hope and sleep, he noticed a page that had a drop of blue ink at an edge and he carefully opened to it. It seemed he had perused too fast and missed it for there it was pages in the middle of the journal.