{~.I Hate Loving you.~} 🅐 🅥🅘🅝🅝🅘🅔 🅗🅐🅒🅚🅔🅡 🅢🅣🅞🅡🅨

{Awakening}

"When you Think about "Love", What is The first thing that comes to mind?......go on, answer the question. I'm being serious. Is it Negative or a positive thought? Do you even believe in such a word? "LOVE- an intense feeling of deep affection." Known as both Noun and verb. Depends on how you use it. Now if you were to ask Me 1 year ago if I "believed in love?", My answer would've been "No", and fact it would've been "HELL NO!". Simply because of what I thought the word meant. The sentence "I Love you." Simply made my face crumble in irritation. Because it was such a pass around sentence. It had such a strong passionate meaning, but people would use it for everything when they really didn't mean it. Really selfish in my opinion. All those Disney movies I use to watch with my sister really gave me high expectations. Unfortunately High-school is NOTHING like that, Do NOT be fooled. It's felled with unfaithful, unreliable people. I wish I would've told myself that sooner. However I will say he changed everything. Yes, you had a wall built up, and at first he knocked, but then he broke it. And you let him in!....you let him in! You STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!! You let him break us!! Just like mom did dad!!! The person you promised yourself you would never turn out to be, and/or be like. SHE ruined everything. HE ruined everything. We really messed up this time Acela we blew it.-...."
End of POV/Dream

Mom: Acela, you up yet?
Acela: hm? What? oh yeah.
Mom: Are you being serious? Come on,-...[she says while opening the bedroom curtains] Look, I know it's hard for you right now due to the moving circumstances, but please try for me ok?
Acela: (sarcastically) ha! Yeah! Believe me mom moving is so fun!!

I was really irritated about how she tried to make whatever this is normal, she was acting so innocent when she was the only reason I had to move. Like I wouldn't noticed a difference, and believe me moving from Tampa Florida to Seattle Washington was a big motherfucking difference.
Mom: You're not funny.
Acela: (snark) I wasn't trying to be.
Mom: Ok, are you done now? Because I don't like this one bit. [She joins you on the bed] Look, I know you're mad at me, and I don't blame you...but you have to hear my side of the story first-....

I got up, before she could say anything else I didn't care what her lying ass had to say, not one bit. And I didn't care if it was harsh of me. I hated her!
Mom: Where are you going?!
Acela: TO THE BATHROOM!!
Mom: We will be revisiting this when you get home from school!!!
Like Hell we were!! No we're not!! I hated her!! I hated the situation!! I hated the new house!! I hated everything!! As I was brushing my teeth I decided that today was going to be a terrible day, not because of the situation, but because I SAID SO! Nobody was going to tell me what to do today! And I was already feeling like a bitch, so be my guest and allow me to hurt your feelings without me knowing who you are without me CARING Who you are!! After I was done with the sink, I exited out of the bathroom, into my bedroom and put on some baggy clothes, I didn't care that they were wrinkled. I put on a very heavy oversized hoodie, and some sweats. I wasn't trying to impress anybody. And then I put my hair in a messy bun. If I was going to be shitty, my clothes were too.

It wasn't much, and to be frank with you I really didn't care. And you would figure since it was my first day at a new high school and all, that I would personally care about my appearance today. But no. After that was done I went downstairs and mom tried to greet me with eggs on a plate I simply looked at her with a smile on my face, and poured them all in the trashcan. Then I ran outside before she could say anything with my backpack and hopped in her running car. that was the hardest thing that I had to go through out of today, I was so hungry. But I would never take anything from her again, who knows it could've had poison in it. But she came in the car like nothing happened with coffee in her thermos, and we drove off. Her music taste sucked so I popped both of my AirPods in and played some of my music. Before I knew it we were right in the front of the school there were a lot of people, and it wasn't their first day only mine. So it looked like they were used to what they were doing. it was really crowded. Too many people for them to just be skipping, it was early in the morning so I figured the bell didn't ring yet.