I Don't Love You (And I Always Will)

Chapter 21

Hey! I know it's been a while, and this chapter is short. I had no motivation and no time to write, but I'm going to try to get back into it! Enjoy!

 Louis would admit this was a mistake if you asked. The problem was, nobody could ask because nobody knew. Harry was fresh out of a break-up, in a new city, and adjusting to a new career. Louis could understand why Harry turned him down for the whole relationship thing the first time, and would understand if he turned him down again when he finally woke up. But as Louis laid down with his head on Harry's bicep and his arm slung around the taller boy's waist, he couldn't bring himself to regret what he did.

Louis had always been a one-night stand type of guy. But this thing with Harry, whatever it was, felt different. Probably because they had slept together twice. Numbers aside, Louis had always had a gut feeling about Harry. Initially, it was to hate him and dump a pile of flaming grass on his soft, brunette curls, but the more Louis thought about it, the more he realized he had a magnetic attraction to Harry from the moment he walked in those studio doors. The banter, the pranks, and the insults were all in vain attempts to get his attention like a jealous elementary schooler. Goddammit.

When Louis had seen himself in the future, he saw himself settling down with someone completely different from Harry. Someone with a stable job, all business, and more mature than he was. Not difficult considering Louis made a dick joke in his head like every thirty minutes. Like when Niall was complaining about how hard a certain step in his dance was. He and the mystery man would adopt a herd of kids and live in a townhouse in Manhattan, close enough for the kids to have a short walk to school, but not too far from Lincoln Center so Louis could avoid the piss train.

However, Mystery Man was taking a different shape recently. He was a goofball who wore shirts with too few buttons done, and he was just as immature as Louis. The herd of kids who walked to school had green eyes and soft curls, and two people went on Louis' daily walk to avoid Piss Train. There was a smaller apartment, and nights where Mystery Man came offstage with Louis. On nights when Louis worked alone, he would come home to the smell of a home cooked meal and a full chested cackle accented by numerous little giggles. And that was the problem.

Swallowing, Louis carefully extracted himself from Harry's bed, his silhouette casting shadows on Harry's face. He stirred, made a cute little disgruntled sound, and curled around the pillow Louis replaced his body with. Louis stood over the bed, took one last look at Harry's sleeping form, and crept out of the apartment.

----

Louis had the day off, and nothing to occupy himself with. After leaving Harry's warm bed, he rushed to his apartment in an attempt to get there before Niall realized he was gone. His effort was unnecessary, because Niall had spent the night at Barbra's. Again. Louis had gotten accustomed to the quiet of the apartment lately, between Niall basically living with Barbra and constantly being out for Nutcracker shows. And usually, the silence was calming, a temporary pause in the whirlwind that was the last few months. But Louis craved noise right now, something to get his mind off the bright ball of sunshine he'd left this morning without a goodbye, going against every gut feeling in his body.

Louis made the trek upstairs to the girls' apartment and used his own key copy to get in again. Teal baseball bat be damned, Louis needed some attention. As he crept through room after dark room, it was becoming increasingly clear the apartment was devoid of any life. Like at all. The kitchen was piled up with dishes, there was nothing on the coffee table, no Kardashian reruns playing on the TV. Louis took a seat on the cushy couch, staring out at the picture of Gigi and El from SAB, framed and hung next to the TV. It hit him that El was probably at Liam's apartment. Like young couples usually were. No matter how weirdly private Eleanor and Liam were about their relationship, it was quite obvious that they were still caught up in the puppy love stage. There was no other explanation for why Liam still helped Eleanor paint her nails. Louis had been there, and it was not pretty.

Gigi must have been shopping, or out with Zayn. Were they serious yet? All Louis knew was that they had been on a couple of great dates. And if they were getting serious, why hadn't they told Louis yet? But then again, they didn't need to. And Louis was alone, because right under his nose, all his best friends coupled up and left him behind. Shit.

-

The studio felt oddly abuzz the next morning when Louis walked in. He was a bit later than usual, because a pigeon tried to attack his bagel on the way over, which would explain why so many people were there before him. Eleanor and Gigi were in their usual positions on the grey marley floor, Gigi chugging and iced coffee and El sipping a green juice.

"God, this tastes like shit." Eleanor sputtered out between coughs, her face turning red.

"Why are you drinking it then, dumbass?" Gigi questioned, rubbing at her temple. She didn't like to handle complaining this early in the morning. One time, Louis came into her apartment at ten in the morning on a Sunday to complain about his sore muscles. The bruise lasted for weeks.

"Because Harry said they were great! Supposed to invigorate me, or something." Eleanor replied. At the mention of Harry's name, Louis couldn't help but search the room for the boy. He was stretching his calves on the barre, talking to Niall. Probably about Barbra. Louis quickly pulled his gaze back to the girls when he realized he hadn't spoken to Harry since the Rehearsal Screw Up, as Louis had taken to calling it. And Louis wasn't sure if he should. He usually never talked to his one night stands after it's all said and done, but Harry wasn't really usual, was he?

"Please, Harry's a maniac." Gigi scoffed. "He asked me to come do hot yoga with him on one of my abundant days off. As if." She rolled her eyes and took another sip of coffee. "I'm sure he just took Lou with him instead." With a smirk, she waggled her eyebrows at Louis.

"What are you going on about?" Louis said, trying to keep the blush from creeping up his neck. Eleanor fixed him with a glare.

"You know what she means, dipshit. You're like head over heels for each other." El said, giving him mocking puppy dog eyes.

"Who's head over heels?" Peggy piped up from behind Gigi, who took a deep breath and turned around to face her imposter.

"Nobody. But it's not really any of your business anyway." Gigi said, a plastic sugary sweet smile overtaking her face. Peggy took a breath to retort, a sour look on her face, but Louis interjected before she could.

"How's the ankle?" He almost shouted, trying to get her attention while nodding at the legwarmer on her lower right leg.

"It's fine." Peggy sniffed. "I'll be all fixed up to get Juliet when the time comes around for casting!" Eleanor stifled a laugh.

"Go for it, girl." Eleanor got out, making a vain attempt to seem genuine. Peggy nodded and turned to her clan of annoying corps bitches while the doors opened, revealing a smiling Simon Cowell. So obviously, something was up. Close behind Cowell was a man probably a few years older than Louis, and several inches taller. He had his hair up in a tall quiff, and a smile that made him almost look fake.

"It's my honor to introduce our guest artist for the next season," Cowell announced, "Nick Grimshaw!" Louis turned to glance at Harry, a habit really, just soon enough to see the blood drain from his face.