biscuits - jensoo

rating things jennie's dumb puppy does in a day.

where lisa has a vlogging youtube channel and for one of her videos she rates the things jisoo does
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"hey, it's lisa! sooo jennie unnie's out with chaeyoung unnie today. hunting or something. so i'm stuck babysitting the pup. let's see what she gets up to today, and i'll rate them for you."

1. playing hide and seek ( 0.5 / 10 ).
- very bad at this. very not good. not a good seeker and an even more atrocious hider.
- would NOT recommend playing this if you actually want to... you know, be able to play.
- just have to yell, 'WHO WANTS A TREAT' or 'MOMMY'S HOME' for some small tail thump hints and excited whining. all muffled, of course.
- don't want to give that hiding spot away too quickly.
- terrible, terrible sense of danger. before every game, i tell her to hide like 'a murderer is after her'. i mean, call me a pessimist but shivering under a blanket isn't a particularly effective deterrent. especially not in the middle of the living room floor.
- she'd be the easiest thing to kidnap. luckily jennie unnie's faster and more protective than anyone i know.
- half a point for actually knowing she has to Run and Hide.

2. chow time (10000 /10 ).

- puppy isn't fussy. very good girl.
- will eat anything you put in front of her. with a silly grin on her face as she chows down.
- don't tell jennie unnie, but i might have given her a few butter tabs too many, but it's fine! she begged for it! and it's not my fault... she promised to leave me in peace for another 2 minutes if i did!
- sometimes she needs to be stimulated a little along the way, but that's okay. i guess she's used to ear scratches during mealtimes. i think it's kinda cute.
- jennie says she's grown out of feeding bibs, but i freakin dare her to tell that to my sore back and the kitchen floor. aish.
- extra points for big ear flicks when food magically gets stuck in the fluff.

3. entertainment time!! ... at my expense ( 9 /10 ).
- puppy's on thin fucking ice with this one.
- makes me do the most humiliating dances, makes me do the most idiotic things. and you bet i do them. but only because she looks just as dumb jumping up and giggling as i do 'dancing'.
- okay fine... it's actually cute as hell. but don't tell her. don't want her thinking she has the upper hand here.
- makes me feel like the stupidest being alive. and then has the nerve to ask for pets and cuddles later on. which... if i give in or not is something i shall choose not to disclose. for personal reasons.
- 9 out of 10 for the happy yelping and tail wags. knock one point off for my dignity.

4. being a little shit ( 5 /10 ).
- if  'chu, time for bed' or 'homework time, jichu' was a look, this'd be it. and it pretty much is, every time i say it, anyway.
- puppy's goddamned lucky she's still at an age where sleeping is still something to grumble about. literally cannot remember the last time i got a shitty four hours, let alone a good eight.
- jennie unnie says the ear trick works if puppy is being extra difficult or grumbly. and let me tell you, it does. a few seconds with an ear between your fingers and she's out like a light. is there someway i can do this with the deer i hunt? sometimes i just want fast food... you know, without the struggle.
- and 'more butter biscuits' seems like a reliable motivator for finishing her homework. (even if i don't end up giving her any... i know, i know, she deserves them for merely existing... but we don't want to overfeed her. jennie said it didn't end well last time).

- a rare shot of a studious chu doing her homework
- anyway minus 5 for my pain and suffering but plus 5 because it's easily dealt with.

5. being adorable to get out of being punished for being a little shit (-3491834u13134r034103 / 10 ).
- negative score only because it works.
- very well.
- and i hate it.
- but i love it.

6. overall (1000000/10)
- makes jennie unnie the happiest vampire
- super warm, super cuddly, and super cute !!
- is a light in our lives
- wouldn't trade her for the world