Halfpace

Chapter 1

„Mommy,  i did it", I say with excitement written all over my face.
„I know, honey! You did it! I'm really proud of you!", she says looking like she couldn't be prouder. It's  just a little accomplishment, but it feels like I just made the world a better place by playing my first chord on the guitar, that I just got for my 9th birthday. It's a black one, because I didn't want to have the regular light brown one. I thought they were too basic to feel about them the way that I do. It's also some kind of a one of a kind, which was probably really expensive.

I start to concentrate again and try to play that one chord over and over again until i recognise that the seat, in which my mom just had sitten, is now completely empty. It's not the first time, she disappeared out of nowhere. Sometimes, we're talking and then suddenly she needs to do something that she totally forgot. I guess I never had a strong bond with my parents and being an only child doesn't make it easier. It was mostly because of hers and dads job. I think they both work together, because most of the time they are gone to work at the same time. Don't ask me as what they do for work. I don't know. They never really talk about their job and what they do.

When I was 6 years old i started to enjoy being alone and whenever I'm in company by someone i rarely know, mostly babysitters, because my parents are working most of the time, I feel like i need to put on a mask, easily because my dad thinks no one likes my real me. The girls back in kindergarten were all in love with their dads because they treated them like their little princess. I guess that's how it's supposed to be. Mine only treated me like that, when we were in public and under people that he wanted to look good in front of. When we were at home, it was like I was invisible and he didn't ask once whether I had a good day or not.

Daddy and Mommy have a lot of money and they say it's because they save the world. I don't really know what they mean by that because superheroes always wear capes in movies, but everytime I ask how they do that without superpowers, dad only laughs at me and completely ignores the question and mom give me one of her genuine smiles and squeezes my hand one time to symbolise to not ask any further. So I guess the answer is something that I'm not ready to hear yet or not able to understand the meaning.

„Callie dear, Abaddon and I are just going to get something. It might be a present for you, so please don't burn down the house and don't open the door. We'll be right back", mom says. Without me having time to respond to her, she closes the door that she just opened and leaves. The last thing I can hear is someone slamming the door downstairs and now I'm alone at home again. You may ask why I said again? They leave me alone almost 3-4 times a week, which shouldn't be said as normally as I just did. Now I look at the closed door, which is decorated with like 50 photos. Most of them are with my best friend. That's because every happy memory I think about, when I get asked „What memories do you think about, when you have to think about your favourites?", is with him.

I'm smarter than most children my age. Wow that sounds selfish. Nevermind, just forget I said that. My favourite thing to do is reading. As a 9 year old I should be reading a book about dogs saving the world in the most unrealistic way possible but my dad taught me otherwise. I am in fact reading books about some highschool love story instead, which is to be honest just as unrealistic as the dog story. Dad always said that loving only makes us weak and vulnerable and that I should trust nobody but myself or I'll be getting hurt in the end. What I find weird about him saying that is that he is literally married. I mean you only marry someone, when you love them, don't you? S0 why doesn't he love mommy or is he also weak?

***

As time flies, I find myself looking at my wrist, trying to find out what time it is, when I realise, that they've been gone for about two hours.  But  apparently there's something way worse to realise. There's smoke in my room and when I say that there's smoke I mean that I literally can't see anything. I start to feel anxious and feel a tear rolling down my face. If the smoke won't kill me, my dad sure will. I had one job, which was: DONT SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE. Well I guess I just did. Fucking hell.