Halfpace

Chapter 9

HOW IS EVERYONE?? I MISSED U ALL!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR SHAWTYSSSS.

2022 IS GONNA BE OUR YEAR!
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Just like the moon, we go through phases of emptiness to feel full again.

Sometimes we even disappear.

The phase when you feel empty always seems to last longer than the one where you feel complete. It kinda always feels like the peak of my existence but what's different than the moon is that it doesn't happen once a month.

This moment right now is one of them though. I don't know how a simple conversation can make you feel that way but I've never felt like this before.

Maybe it's the fact that guys who are good with kids are twice as attractive as they were before, maybe it's the lights that make the atmosphere so much more intense or the fact that Zayn is properly talking to me for the first time and with that so intensely.

Aurelia is still sleeping in Zayns arms and Zayn and I are just talking a bit, waiting for the technical difficulties to go over.

"Alright I have an idea. Based off of how people look like, we're going to try to find out what they've been through." Zayn suggests.

"How are we going to find out what they've actually been through though? Like when do we find out the solution?" I ask, not seeing the sense in never getting the answers.

"That's the fun part, we'll never know. We will think about it a lot in the next days, still much in a few weeks, a bit in a few months and after a year we'll eventually think about it but forget it for an amount of time. Just like everything else in life. We live, remember and then forget."

We live, remember and then forget.

Ironic.

We live, we die, some remember us and are thinking about us and then forget us.

"The people are so tiny from up here though. How will we even see them?" I ask.

Then realisation hits Zayn and he lets out a nervous laugh. I'm pretty sure he's nervous right now, but he has no reason to be. I don't want to risk anything because I'm not sure if I'll ever have a conversation with Zayn again and I'm enjoying this way to much.

But then Zayn starts to pick up the conversation again. "Just wanted to let you know that I don't hate you. I never did"

"What are you talking about?" I ask him, looking really confused.

"I heard you when you were talking to Kane."

My heart stopped. He heard every single word. He knows that something happened in my past and every single one of the boys know now.

"I don't even want to be with Liam, Niall and especially not Zayn."

"Do you know that Zayn hates me?"

"You even want your heart to shatter even more?"

"Do you think it was easy to see you like that, to see that he stole all of the sunshine out of your eyes?"

They know that my heart has been broken. They know that there's a certain guy who took all of the sunshine out of my eyes. They know how breakable I am now.

What if they think I'm pathetic? What if today is going to be the last time that they will hang out with me? I mean they could hang out with everybody in the world. Why would they choose me?