Halfpace

Chapter 2

Have fun reading!

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Electricity.

The feeling that I wasn't able to describe in my dreams.

The feeling that has been chasing me for over a decade.

The feeling that I said I never would want to feel again.

Nonetheless, it's the feeling that I get over and over again.

I still don't know what triggers it but it happens every so often. I want it to dissapear so badly, that I sometimes think I'm making it only worse with it. I haven't talked to anyone about it, which is probably because I don't trust many people. I usually don't talk much, scared that I might say the wrong thing, scared that I'll get judged by what I'm saying. I rather listen to people, watching their gestures and how their eyes light up, whenever they talk about something or someone they're passionate about.

I love watching people that are happy. Okay well that sounds a little weird. Let me say it differently. I adore seeing people being happy and careless and free. Sometimes I wish I'd have a bit of that but being happy on your own is something barely anyone gets to experience. Many humans think they're happy because of themselves but to realise that you're not takes a lot of strength. People rely on others, thinking them betraying you is something they'd never even think about, and at the end you'll have trust issues just like almost every human on this earth. Thinking about how many life's got destroyed by others makes me kind of sad. I mean how naive could you be?

I was one of the naive girls once but I'm glad that's over. I don't really know who that guy from the dreams is but since I know the nightmare by heart, I know that he always told me to not fall in love cause it would make me vulnerable and weak. Since we're talking about the dream, I can say that I have no clue what it's supposed to mean or what's the reason behind me having it over and over again. I cant even remember, when they started. It sort of just happened once and then never ended. Still don't know the meaning behind it.

Especially, I don't know to who I was referring to as my mom, cause my mom in my dreams and my mom in real life aren't the same person. From what I can remember, they look very different and even their accents are not the same. So I guess the „mom" in my dreams is just some kind of weird imagination, just like the complete rest of the dream.

The only thing that stresses me out is that it happens often. Not once. Not twice. It's been happening endless amount of times and it scares the shit out of me.

Nobody knows what actually happens in my nightmares, not even my parents, and I'm not planning on telling anyone for awhile. They just know that they happen cause once in a while they have to wake me up from it. I don't want people to think I'm weird or make fun of it, cause I certainly wouldn't think it's funny at all. Well, I never care about what people say about me but if I can avoid drama at any costs, I will.

It's been a few hour's since my dad woke me up and now I'm on my way to one of my favourite places to be. It's a vintage looking little library with a little coffee shop in it. Not many people know this beautiful and silent place, which probably makes it even more special and cozy. Everybody minds their own business in here but everyone's still being nice to each other, sometimes greeting each other or just giving them a genuine smile and nod as you walk past them.

I can't remember a time where I wasn't here at least once a week, except the one time I was sick for almost three months, which had been horrible. It always has been one of my safe places since I can remember. Because of that, everybody knows me here and I know everybody. I don't know a single thing about their past and they don't know any about mine but maybe that's what makes it so magical. Maybe that's what makes you feel safe here.