After hearing Ban's vague description of Elaine, I wasn't very interested in talking anymore. I mindlessly followed him through the maze, hoping he was keeping track of where we were, as I was too deep into my own thoughts to notice.
He seemed confident, although it would be hard to tell otherwise since he was always so cocky and self assured.
So he was really going to choose Elaine? I thought to myself. Why had he kissed me back if he knew he was going to abandon me as soon as she would return though? I guess he doubted his own abilities of reviving her, but still. I don't know why he acted as if he cared about me when he was clearly in love with Elaine, it was just cruel.
Maybe two could play at that game, I smirked, thinking about getting with the Lion Sin of scrawniness or the Sloth Child Fairy Sin to get back at Ban. That would show him. I knew the idea was silly, but it crossed my mind several times.
My mind then wandered to another place, once I was out of this maze, then what? I didn't want to burden Ban by continuing to travel alongside him and his friends, I would only prove to be a nuisance, dragging them down at every turn. I guess I would have to start my own life from scratch. The thought made me anxious, I had absolutely nothing to my name; no money, no friends or family, only the clothes on my back, and even those were borrowed. I would have to live on the street and find a job, how would I ever be able to afford housing or even just basic necessities like food or clothes? I had nothing, no one.
Without realizing it, I had sent myself into a spiral. I still followed behind Ban, but slower than earlier. I was biting my lip to the point of drawing blood, and my breathing was erratic. My fingers twitched at my sides and I stared at my feet walking, trying to focus on something.
"You want to stop for a break?" I distantly hear, but don't respond, I don't even look up.
"Shit." I hear him mumble, along with the sound of his feet hitting the ground as he walks back to me.
He is now in front of me, but I can't get myself to look up at him. It feels like someone is squeezing my heart and lungs leaving me as a breathless fool needing to rely on others.
"What's happening up here?" He asks, tapping my head.
Even if I wanted to talk about it, I don't think I could, I was having a difficult time catching my breath. He sighs and grabs my hand. He makes a motion to sit, and we both slowly lower ourselves to the ground. He is kneeling in front of me, while I sit with my knees hugged to my chest.
"You're doing that thing again, where you get yourself worked up about nothing. You've got to realize you're ok and that breathing is a vital human function." He chuckles lightly.
Seeing little progress he takes my hand and puts it up to his own chest. I feel his heartbeat against my fingertips, and I look up slightly at him.
"Now I don't mean to show off Teenie, but this is what your heartbeat is meant to feel like. Try following it with your breathing, for me." He speaks gently and I could already feel my nerves calming.
Once I was recovered I was a bit embarrassed, but mostly just grateful it was over.
"Would you like to talk about it?" He asks standing back up and dusting himself off. I follow his lead standing, I shrug not wanting to divulge my inner thoughts.
He nodded, understanding my reluctance to talk about my emotions.
We continued further into the maze, and without noticing, my hand slipped into his and we were walking hand in hand. It felt so normal, it felt right.
When I finally worked up the courage to talk, I timidly asked "Where am I going to go... after all of this?" It was a vague question, but I'm sure he got the idea.
"Uh, well," He scratched the back of his neck with the hand not holding my own. "I guess you could find a place to settle down if you wanted, but I just figured you'd stay with me and the sins for the time being. Sorry if that was presumptuous."
I shook my head, "no, I just don't want to be a burden to you... and all of them. Everyone keeps telling me how strong the sins are, I don't want to hold you all back with my problems and weaknesses."
I hesitated a bit before adding, "And Elaine... I don't want things to be weird for you and her, with me being there..." I looked down at our intertwined fingers. I suddenly felt guilty, I didn't care much for Elaine, but if he chose her than I couldn't be running around holding hands and waiting for him to save me. I would have to learn to hide my affection for Ban out of respect of his relationship with Elaine. I let go of his hand as if it burned me.
He looked at me, slight traces of anguish flashing over his features.
"Don't worry about all that, you can stay with us for however long." He said coldly.
With that, the conversation was over, neither of us said anymore. I've got a real talent for screwing things up.
After some time of walking, I was tired and bored and I sorta wished I was a toddler so I could throw a temper tantrum and it be perfectly acceptable. I stopped for a moment to stretch out my sore limbs.
I shrieked when I felt something clamp onto my foot.
Ban turned around immediately scanning the area for danger.
"OWIE." I yelped trying to shake whatever it was off my foot. Eventually it let go and my foot quickly healed itself.
Then a small green monster looking thing emerged from the ground.
Ban laughed at the small creature that had inflicted me with minor pain, "It's just a lil sandcrawler." He easily killed it and I felt relieved. It wasn't very big or scary, but it had startled me!
As I was expressing my relief, a significantly larger version of the beast appeared behind Ban.
"B-ban." I stammered out, lifting my finger to point behind him.
He turned and saw the beast. He didn't seem at all concerned which made me feel better, I just wish I was able to help, be useful in some way.
"Earth crawler, a bit more interesting." Ban said smugly, shrugging as if taking down this monster was nothing.
Ban reached for his nunchucks, and I jumped out of the way. As he was about to attack I stopped him, "WAIT, can I try?" I asked timidly.
He dodged the monster easily and shrugged, "Yeah, go for it Teenie."
I shut my eyes and tried to summon the powers I had briefly experienced yesterday, some sort of wind or tornado or something.
I opened my eyes to see the earth crawler coming straight for me. I tried desperately for something to happen, to prove to myself that I wasn't worthless, but there was nothing, not even a light gust of wind.
I dove out of the way and the monster crashed into the rock wall surrounding us before turning and preparing to attack Ban again.
"Still want me to stay out of it?" He asked in a bored voice.
"Let me try one more time," I replied, a surge of determination flowing through me.
Again, Ban evaded the monster and it's attention switched back to me.
When Ban fought he always said the ability, maybe that's where I was going wrong. Problem is, I didn't know what to say, Tornado Attack? Wind Kill? I'm a hybrid race please don't kill me Earth Crawler Monster? Didn't have the same ring as Ban's "Fox Hunt" or "Hunter Fest."
As the beast neared closer adjectives flew through my mind as I tried to think of a cool thing to say aloud.
"SHIELDING CYCLONE." I shouted, crossing my fingers hoping something would happen or else I'd be eaten by a damn sand monster.
To my surprise a large tornado appeared in front of me, hitting the monster, spinning it around. I didn't know how to control it, but it fizzled out a short while later. Ban easily finished off the monster since I had merely disoriented it, but I was just glad I had done something right for once.
Ban came up next to me throwing his arm over my shoulder "Shielding Cyclone has a nice ring to it."
~Roll Credits~
