𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞↬ [JeanxFemReader]

Chapter 9

The female Titan had crystallized an azure hardened armor over her hand, stopping Jean from reaching her nape.

Everything was in vain, the blue eyed Titan had yet found another evade us, and she appeared hell bent on making Jean pay.

I had never screamed someone's name louder in my life as Jean was mauled into the earth, the female Titan about to inflict the finishing blow when,

I lurched up from my new bed, the recurring imagery arousing me from my attempt to sleep. The room remaining hushed despite my awakening, silence pursuing.

It had been a few day since the disastrous expedition outside of the walls, the mysterious blonde Titan being a dangerous peril in a mission of searching for answers. I gazed at the window, the moonlight flooding through it, slightly illuminating my room. It felt weird to have my own room in the old headquarters, being around others at night became the norm for me. I peered down at the thick hoary bandages encasing the entirety of my left arm, the fracture being the most harm I received from the expedition. Mulberry bruises and dark red cuts still scattered throughout my body, but none of the injuries hurt as much as the anxiety that has been looming in my head since that day.

Jean has not woken up.

I never thought I would care about someone like him. I thought he was an asshole through and through. So blinded by his own ego and reputation that he wouldn't even look my way. I still remember the teases about my appearance, the nicknames being whispered. The 10 year old in me not wavering from my thoughts, keeping me on edge when around him. Before I would only notice the cocky grin he carried, the pompous way he walked, the self-importance he made known. But the things that I noticed changed. What I see is different now. Now, I see the way his amber eyes beam when he gets excited, the way he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking, the stupid jokes he'll say to lighten the mood.

The little things.

I think that's why the possibility of not seeing those little things again scares me.

I just want to see those hazel eyes again.

I think things that hold me back are past dilemmas. Would I be letting my younger self down if I admitted to myself that I liked him? Have I just been charmed by him so much that I'm ignoring that harbored resentment that she carried? Or is it real? Is that feeling I get when he enters a room real? The way he makes me blush, is that real? I don't want to get hurt, but this feeling feels very alive in me. I want to know, but for now, I just need him to wake up.

Later that day

"So...do you know what this meeting or whatever Captain called is about?" Sasha asked as we walked through the old headquarters.

"Not a clue. The squad leaders are all keeping quiet."

"Hm, oh yeah, and what about your arm?"

"Eh, the doctor said two weeks or so."

The windows of the hallway were upscale and grand, large amounts of sunlight flooding through the clear glass. The meeting felt suspicious, selective to anyone who was aware and invited. From behind, animated footsteps made there way towards us.

"AYO! You guys are coming to the secret get together?" Connie called out.

I smacked the back of his head playfully. "Don't say it so loud, baldy. I think the other soldiers are unaware of it."

"Yeah yeah, I know, but don't cha feel important?"

"Mm hmm, totally."

A thick wooden door was at the end of the hallway and when opened, showed us an aged staircase going downwards. The meeting was located below the old headquarters in an underground room. As we reach the last few steps, silence greeted us. The room was mostly dim, only three oil lamps providing a faint amount of light as someone spoke up.