An Indescribable Feeling

Dreams verses Reality

By the time Anna and Yoongi left their bedroom, Jin and Hoseok had made lunch for everyone. Anna took Namjoon's birthday present with her. Due to the lack of wrapping paper, she had decorated some pieces of plain paper and stuck them together to wrap the scarf she had knitted. She had also found time over the past few days to make a card for him, just like she had for Jungkook, but Namjoon's was crab themed.

When she handed over the present, the birthday boy looked really excited about receiving a gift from Anna. She felt a little awkward about it, as it wasn't much for a guy who could have anything he wanted.

"Ooh! Wow, this is soft."

Namjoon wrapped the scarf around his neck. It was a mixture of different shades of blue.

"The colours suit you Hyung."

"Yes. I like the colours, they're very calming."

"Anna knitted it herself!"

"Really? Anna you made this?"

"Um, yeah."

"That's awesome! I love it even more knowing you made it."

"Open the card, Hyung."

On a background of the beach, was a crab.

"Crab! Hyung, it's a crab!"

"Anna you are so creative!"

"Aww, cute! Thank you, Anna. I love it!"

Namjoon stood up and wrapped his arms around Anna, pulling her in close. She reached up so she could drape her arms around him and rest her head on his shoulder. He felt big and solid pressed against her, the result of all his work in the gym over the past year.

Then he pulled back slightly so that he could look at her but kept his arms around her. Anna was starting to recognise the look she saw in his eyes before he leaned forward to capture her lips in a kiss. What she thought would be a short and sweet thank you kiss, quickly grew more passionate as the birthday boy got carried away. When he did pull back, Anna was panting, but she didn't miss the smirk on Namjoon's lips.

"Happy Birthday to me."

After lunch, they packed up the cars and made their way home. Namjoon's birthday celebrations were kept low-key as they had an early start the next day. The leader didn't mind though, as just spending quality time with his soulmates was enough for him.

During the next few weeks, the boys were busier than ever. Some days Anna was already in bed by the time they got in and most mornings they had left before she had even woken up. As much as she had told them that she understood and knew what being a part of their life would entail, she was struggling.

Anna was lonely and bored. The only thing she had to focus on were her Korean lessons. No matter how determined she was to learn quickly, there was a limit to how much learning she could handle a day.

Even her job couldn't distract her anymore. She had been able to leave England so easily and quickly because her job didn't tie her down to one place. Working as a freelance web designer meant as long as she had a computer and internet, then she could work.

However, it had now been three months since she had left her old life behind and her clients were dwindling. She had almost finished her work for all the clients she already had and had been unable to secure any new ones. She needed something new, but her options for jobs in Korea were limited until she had a better grasp of the language.

It took her by surprise one day when Namjoon took some time to ask her about her work. She had briefly told him what she did when they first met, as people weren't usually able to just jump on a plane days after meeting their soulmates to move across the world.

"How's your work going? I know we haven't asked much about it..."

"It's okay, I mean it was going okay."

"Was?"

"Yeah, I think I just need to make a plan. I have been rather distracted recently."

"Yeah... sorry about that."

"But a welcome distraction. BTS has always been a welcome distraction."

"Do you enjoy your job?"

"Yeah, I mean I enjoy websites and social media and being creative. I wish I could just live off running a BTS fan page, but alas..."

"A fan page?"

"Yeah! You guys have a lot of content and it's a lot for new fans to navigate. Having one place where they could keep update with new stuff, but also discover old videos and content they might not have seen before. I think it would be useful."

"Huh, that sounds cool. Would that be your dream job?"

"Dream job?"

"If you could do anything you wanted to do, what would it be?"

"Umm, do you realistically, or in my dreams?"

"Tell me both."

Namjoon rested his chin in his hand as he listened to her intently.

"Oh, um, well realistically I don't know. I've never really thought about it. Even as a child I don't remember having something I wanted to be when I was older. I thought you just got any job you could. It was only after I started working that I realised how important it was to enjoy what you do."

"And in your dreams?"

"If I was a different person, had a different personality, basically if I was more confident, then there's only ever been one thing that I've always loved to do."

"What's that?"

"Singing."

She said it so softly that Namjoon almost didn't hear her.

"To be honest, music is the only thing that makes me feel alive."

"Do you remember the questionnaire you filled in before you came to our concert?"

"Questionnaire? Oh, yeah and then they said that you used that to choose me for the meet and greet after the concert?"

"Exactly. One of the questions was 'what does music mean to you'. Why do you think we included that question?"

"Because music is important to you guys?"

"True, but we believed that it would help us identify our soulmate because it's our special connection."

"That makes sense. You guys were obviously destined to make music together."

"And so are you."

"Huh?"

"You belong in the music world too."

"Sure, I guess I can still be a part of it without being a singer."

"If that's what you want then sure, but I wouldn't give up on your dream just yet."

"You mean to run a BTS fan page? I suppose it's not impossible."

"Anna."

"Namjoon."

The leader was exasperated at Anna pretending not to know what he meant. It was obvious to him what she wanted to do, but she had obviously spent a lot of time thinking about why it was impossible for her. However, he disagreed. Namjoon had noticed a hidden strength in Anna that he was sure could develop and help her overcome her self-doubt. Maybe she just needs a little push?

"You're a lot stronger than you think you are."