When We're Together (Damon Albarn)

Chapter Nineteen

Sunday 10th December 2006

"It's not real" I whispered shakily to myself "You're okay"

I slowly opened my eyes, scanning around the dark room for anything which wasn't there when I fell asleep. There was, of course, nothing out of the ordinary. I took a few deep breaths to try and control my breathing and calm my pounding heart down.

No matter how hard I tried to calm myself down, nothing was making the dream, or rather nightmare, disappear from my mind. I could still see my parents faces so vividly in my mind, their snarls as they told me it was all my fault that they'd died. They were coming to London to visit me, they were in that car because of me, if it wasn't for me then they'd still be alive today. It was a nightmare I grew to become pretty familiar with when they first died, it haunted me almost every night for a year. But it had been so long since I'd last had it that it felt like the first time all over again.

Before I could even fully think about what I was doing, I had already closed my bedroom door and carefully walked across the hall to the bedroom Damon was in.

I tried to walk in as quietly as possible, my intentions being to just get into his bed and get back to sleep, but he sat up as soon as the door opened. I wasn't sure what the time was, but he obviously hadn't fallen fully asleep yet.

"Everything okay?" He whispered, his voice slightly hoarse. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the words out, further tears fell down my face in place of them.

"Come here" I nodded my head, taking the few steps to the bed before climbing into bed with him, resting my head on his chest as I let the sobs wrack through my body.

I wasn't sure how long I was crying for, but it was long enough for me to have cried, what felt like, all of the tears from my body. I felt completely empty yet safe and secure in Damon's arms. At some points my tears had drowned out the comforting words Damon was whispering in my ears and at other times, his voice was all I could hear, like a light at the end of a tunnel, as I tried to calm myself down.

"Want to talk about it?" He whispered, I shook my head, I knew if I spoke about it then the tears would start flowing again.

"It was the nightmare" I choked, knowing that was all he needed to hear to understand what had happened. Over the course of that year, I think the frequent occurrence of that nightmare, at times, haunted Damon just as much as it did me.

"Well you're okay now, I've got you" He whispered, putting one hand around my waist and gently stroking the side of my cheek with his other hand "I'm here, it's okay"

I fell asleep to Damon's gentle voice and I wasn't sure how long I was asleep for, but when I awoke again, Damon had gone. I barely had time to wake up fully before he appeared at the door, a small smile on his lips and a cup of tea in his hand.

"Morning sweetheart" He spoke softly, placing the mug on the bedside table before sitting down next to me "The kids are watching TV downstairs"

"Thank you for last night" I mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact. Almost ten years of marriage and I still felt embarrassed whenever I had to ask him for help.

"You don't need to thank me, it's what I'm here for" He reached across and took hold of my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head fiercely, I had every intention to bury any memories of last nights nightmare as deep down as I possibly could.

"Definitely not" I paused, daring to look across at him "I just, I don't understand why it's happening again"