Chapter Forty-Four

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A/N- Hi strangers, not sure if anyone is still reading this but here's an update for the first time since March (where has that time gone?!). I'm still very much enjoying writing, it's a nice outlet now that I'm an adult commuting most days. Feedback and comments if you're actually still reading this would be v appreciated as I'll definitely keep on writing if you're still reading!

Enjoy Xx


Sunday 19th April 2014

It had all started this morning when Missy had come downstairs, her phone with a pre-release album review open. Before she had even said anything Damon and I knew we weren't going to like what she had to say.

"Is it true you used to take heroin Dad?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowed, the conversation between us all died as Damon and I helplessly looked between each other.

"What's heroin?" Primrose asked, her innocence making my stomach drop. I shook my head discreetly at Damon. She was ten, she didn't need to know the answer to that.

"I er, we'll talk about it later" He stuttered, scratching at his head as he frowned.

"If you're going to tell them then I want to know too" Primrose had frowned, her face almost identical to her father's "I'll just Google it if not"

"It's a drug, I was young and it was a very long time ago" He sighed, screwing his face up in the way he always did when he was talking about something he didn't want to "There's nothing more to really say other than it now doesn't seem as good an idea as it did back then"

"Did mum take it too?" Foxton asked, his glasses wonky on his face as he grinned.

"No I bloody didn't" I scoffed, the amount of references to my cocaine tendencies were bad enough.

"The article says she didn't, but she used to take a lot of coke" Missy said bluntly, scrolling down the article on her phone. I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks, wanting to be open with the children didn't make these conversations any easier.

"Is that why you never let us have any coke?" Primrose asked, the frown still etched on her face.

I groaned as I shook my head, covering my eyes with the palms of my hands as Damon's laughter rung through my ears.

"A completely different type of coke darling" He told her, I opened my eyes in time to watch him run a hand through her hair.

"Why did you guys take so many drugs" Fox sighed, rolling his eyes as he looked to his older sister "They told us about them in school, did you not know how bad they are?"

"Things were different back then Foxie" Damon spoke, his words laced with a sense of exhaustion on the topic "We didn't know as much as we do now"

"So you don't take drugs now still?" Missy asked, her voice dripping in teenage arrogance as she raised an eyebrow in a way that told us she knew something we'd rather she didn't.

Her words made me cringe, sure Damon and I didn't touch drugs a fraction of the amount we used to, but I knew that Damon was still partial to a joint when he was in the studio and if I knew we weren't seeing the kids for a few days, the thought of a white powder always excited me.

"No, we don't" Damon told her, his gaze set on her as he shook his head, shutting her down just as she opened her mouth again "Any article that you've read is lying"

Damon had managed to shut down any more drug related conversations after that, instead distracting all of the children with the mention of a walk to the park for an ice cream.

"Did you have to include those words?" A slight hint of amusement laced in my voice as i read through the review again.

When Damon had told me about his ideas for a solo album, played me some songs and let me read the lyrics, i felt so overwhelmed with how he had quite clearly written an album about me and our relationship that i didn't really fully acknowledged the actual words.

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