Black Hole Sun [Harry Potter/Twilight]

XXVIII : The Spring Awakening

GWEN

Edward and Alex were on either side of her, holding her arms chivalrously as they led her into the Festival. They walked through the usual dark cobblestones, now being illuminated by hundreds of floating, flickering candles. The only way to describe the scene of the medium sized village was; magical.

Everywhere there were people and magical creatures in their best dress robes or traditional wear, with of course, masks. At the stroke of eight on the new Hogsmeade town square, everyone would gather in unity, as the Centaur representative brought forth the coming of a new season of Spring. This festival was to symbolize new life and celebrate it, for they were living in a golden age. And tonight, they would celebrate it to the best of their ability.

As she had walked down her stairs, she couldn't help but find Edward breathtaking. She had no idea if it was due to him having a striking similarity to Cedric, or his naturally good looks, but either way, what she felt when she saw him...Was dangerous.

As she walked with them, she was glad to have Alex there as well. He acted as a buffer. Which is what she needed because when she and Edward were left alone with their guard down...Gwen felt herself stop thinking about how close they had gotten to kissing within the last few days. It was dangerous and she was just plain stupid for quietly hoping it would happen. For wondering what it would like when their lips finally took that plunge and crashed into each other. For wondering if her heart would be just as calm as it usually was, or if it would roar in triumph.
But then again...She knew it could never and would never happen.

Edward had someone he was committed to. Someone he committed his entire existence to.

And it was dangerous because she could not fall for him. She refused to, no matter how much her heart betrayed her as it thumped excitedly whenever they were close proximity.

At first, she had been confused by what she felt. She was confused by the complete betrayal she felt when he expressed no desire to speak to her again... But seeing him in his robes, feeling his arm holding her securely as they walked to the Festival, she knew she was in danger...In danger of falling for someone who had promised his heart to someone else.

Someone who would leave her just as fast as he came into her life.

Surely, Edward would end up betraying her once again. And what was there to betray? He was with Bella, not with her. Even if Edward felt what she was feeling, there was no point to it. Edward knew it too. They both were denying what they felt. But it was still there, lingering between them. Even Alex pointed it out.

But what they both felt was fleeting...And she knew she could not risk to fall into a dark pattern of anger and sadness once again if she allowed herself to really feel what she was feeling. She was past that time in her life. So, she would get through this ball and get them back to Forks, and then promise to never see Edward again. It would be best, for both of them.

For despite him and his family wanting a start in the Wizarding World, she knew she could not be there with them to guide them. She couldn't. Bella would join the Cullen's eventually, and they would all live happy for eternity. Protected and safe.

And she would go on, taking on another assignment and traveling the world. The Cullen's and Bella would settle down somewhere, but she would not. She didn't want to stop moving. She didn't want to settle down anywhere. This is what Harry could never understand, this is why they weren't able to work out. Harry wanted a family. He wanted forever with her.

And she promised him all of those things if they survived the war.

But when they did survive...She couldn't keep her promise. Not with everything that happened. Their bond was beyond repair. No matter how many times during her lonely nights she would think of him and wonder if she had made the right choice.