got it in you

CHAPTER 4

kim's POV
i wake up at 8:00 am, oh shit i forgot to set my alarm and now i am late. i check my phone and see a bunch of texts from members of the unit asking where i am. before even thinking i pick up my phone to call voight and say i am sorry. however on the phone he tells me to just stay home for the day and relax, maybe visit hailey. i thank him and hang up the phone. i was really despising going to work today and i kind of feel a little bit of relief. i really want to shower but it's a lot of work and i don't really have the motivation for it. so instead of showering i go back to bed and instantly fall back asleep.

4 hours later

i roll out of bed once again not feeling like doing anything, but this time i have a pounding headache. i slowly walk to my bathroom and grab some medicine then all of the sudden a wave of nausea washes over me and i rush to the toilet and throw up. after about 5 minutes i finish and now i HAVE to shower, so i do that. while in the shower all these thoughts start hitting me and i completely crumble. i'm sat on the shower floor my face in my knees sobbing historically. 'kim why is everything your fault, why do you eat so much, i should've ran faster and maybe just maybe hails wouldn't be in the hospital, why am i never good enough, why wasn't i the one who got shot instead, what did i do wrong for my parents to mentally and physically hurt me when i was younger?" i had all these why questions that i had no answers to haunting me. after an hour of just sitting there in my thoughts i stand up and finish cleaning myself off. i get out and think about putting sweats back on but i decided on jeans and a sweater because i wanted to visit hailey. in the car i try to think of reasons why i have gotten sick earlier, i can't really think of any. maybe it was because my headache was really bad, but why was my headache so bad? then i try to remember the last time i have ate something. i can't remember but i mean it has to be good for me cause then maybe i will be in better shape. i mean when i look at myself in the mirror i feel like i'm going to throw up. before you know it, i'm at the hospital and on my way up to haileys room. why am i nervous i have no reason to be nervous.

haileys POV
I have only been in this hospital room for a short amount of time and i am already loosing my mind. i can't wait to get back to work. i hear the door open and my partner walks in. "hey kim aren't you supposed to be at work?" i ask. "uhh i woke up kinda late today so voight told me to just take the day off." she replies with. i think to myself that that's a little weird because hank never lets anyone have a day off. "oh, you just didn't want a different partner today. we both know it." i joked with her. she gave me a little laugh. she has been acting strange for a while so i decide to break the ice. "kim what's going on mentally, you know none of this is your fault right?" i start with. "hails girl, worry about yourself right now you are literally the one in the hospital. and did you talk to will cause he was trying to accuse me of being different too?" she replied with. she was looking really annoyed so i could tell something was up cause usually when i ask if she is okay she says she's fine with a smile on her face. "okay kim, but you can talk to me we are like sisters. you know that right?" i ask just to kind of reassure her that i am there for her. "yes hails i know i can talk to you, i'm just trying to deal with some things on my own right now." she answers. i understand her mind set cause quite frankly i am the same way when it comes to talking about feelings. " hails , i'm sorry for coming i probably ruined your mood. i was supposed to come to make you feel better but instead i'm here and your dealing with my problems." she says in the verge of tears "hey kim it's okay, i'm happy you came to see me even if it is just to say that we are there for each other because this room can get extremely boring alone." i wasn't even lying when i said that, i'm glad she came by. "you wanna maybe stop someplace to grab lunch or dinner when i get out? you can pick the place and the time." i question kim to try to enlighten the mood in the room. " i uh i um, um maybe if i'm not busy." she replies. that was very strange to me because kim always used to love going out on a little girls night out. "okay you can pick the night so everything can work out!" i end that subject of the conversation. "hails i think imma head home so you can get some rest. imma miss you at work." "okay bye kim have a good day!" "you too hails hope you feel better!" kim leaves the room and i'm not gonna lie i'm a little confused on how she was acting. i decided on calling voight because i know he is like a father to kim. i open my phone and click on voight's name. "hi hank!" "hi hailey is everything okay?" "with me yes with kim i'm not sure, would you mind checking in on her? i think something is bothering her and i don't think she is doing great mentally. she said something about will interrogating her too on this. she wasn't very happy but your like a father to her you know." "of course hailey, i will check-in on her. keep me updated on how you are doing and i will keep you updated on kim." "okay bye hank, and thank you!" "bye i hope you feel better." and with that i hang up. i feel a little relief that he is going to check with kim, i decide on getting a little rest for the rest of the day.

a/n: i'm not sure if this covered kim's feelings. if you are confused let me know your thoughts so i can fix it. also sorry it took so long to update.have a good day!