tw: major sh
After I get off the phone with Hails, I prepare myself to call Adam. I feel really bad for saying no to lunch but I can't handle eating a meal, never mind eating in front of someone I really like. I go to my recent call log and click on "Adam" 's name.
"Hey Kim, I was thinking you were never going to call back." he says with a laugh. His voice calms me some but it also makes me feel more nerves about canceling lunch.
"Hi, I'm sorry about that, Hails was just telling me that she is being discharged! How exciting is that?"
"That's great! Is she staying with Halstead, cause lets be honest they both like each other." Oh my gosh does the guy make me actually smile.
"Yes Adam, she did mention she was staying with Jay. Hey, about going out for lunch, I'm sorry but I can't make it Today. I have so much cleaning to do, but if you would like we could hang out at my apartment for a little later." I say. Making it sound as reasonable as possible.
"Okay, yeah sure. We could hang out later. Just let me know when you finish cleaning. Knowing you, you will probably be done in less then two hours. Cause I bet your apartment isn't very messy, "Miss I like to keep things neat"!" he says, making me laugh again.
"Ahaha, very funny Adam. Anyway I will let you know when I am done. Talk to you soon, bye!"
"Bye Kimberly Burgess!"
"Stop Adam, you know I hate being called that!" making us both laugh, as I hang up.
Not going to lie he was right when he said something about how I like to keep things clean, I mean my apartment isn't even a little messy. So instead of cleaning my not messy apartment I go into the bathroom and do the only thing I can think of, walking over to my medicine cabinet I grab a razor and start cutting straight lines on my left wrist. Satisfied when I start seeing the deep red liquid come from the cuts. I think to myself on how I deserve to feel this pain. Canceling plans multiple times with Adam, Hails getting shot, and what has happened in the past tense.
Thirty minutes later
Well I have something to clean now, so it wasn't a complete lie that I had to clean my apartment. I look around the bathroom and see blood everywhere, on the floor, counter space, and even the walls. I have no fucking clue how it got on the walls but I guess I should get to cleaning my bathroom. Walking to the kitchen to grab the paper clothes and the Lysol I notice the time and realize I have been in the bathroom for over an hour. I quickly walk back to the bathroom to start scrubbing away the blood. After I finish, I realize I wasted another thirty minutes just cleaning the bathroom. Sitting on the bathroom floor I look down to my wrists and I can't help but breakdown in tears. After ten minutes I realize Adam is going to be coming over so I calm myself down and start to get ready. I hop in to the shower and turn the water to the coldest setting because I learned something on Google that it helps with weight loss. After I quickly wash up I look into the mirror and almost breakdown over what I saw, the bags under my eyes are the worst they have ever been and my shoulder bones popping out of the shirt I put on. Which I am not mad about, but I still don't look nor feel how I wish. I go to my room and grab a more loose sweater and a pair of ripped jeans. Going to my makeup vanity I start the process of applying makeup, mostly focusing on my under eyes. I also quickly brush my hair and place it into a messy bun. Lastly I go to where I keep my jewelry and pick out a bunch of bracelets to cover up what happened to my left wrist. Now I'm finally done so I text Adam.
"Hey Adam, I am done cleaning my apartment so you can feel free to come over when you are ready."
"Alright Kim, I am on my way now. So see you in ten! <3" Oh my gosh he just added a heart at the end of his text! My gosh, maybe he does somewhat like me. But the real question is, am I ready to give someone the trust with my heart again?
"Okay, can't wait to see you!" With that I place my phone on my bed and walk out to sit on the sofa by the window that looks out over the city. The city is really a gorgeous place when you don't think about that violence that I deal with, mostly every day.
Wow I must of spaced out or something because there was already a knock on the door.
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got it in you
Fanfictionkim burgess has been acting a little weird lately. will the unit start getting suspicious or will no one notice. TW~will talk about mental health including sh and ed. i do not own these characters to these they are all created by dick wolf and wolf...
