Don't leave me //Until we meet again Fanfiction

Chapter 11

' My mom stood infront of the window, looking outside.

"I heard you joined the swim team?" 

I nodded. 

"Yes. And I am very good, I think."

"Your dad was pretty good. Are you as good as him?"

"Well, I ... train a lot but I don't think..."

"At your age he joined his first national competition."

"Mom, I really give my best. I train a lot. But I am not sure if I am good enough to..."

"You don't want to disappoint me, do you? Or your dad?" 

Slowly she turned to me. I couldn't see her face. I couldn't look up at her.

"No, of course I don't want to disappoint you."

"Good son. You know otherwise you will end up alone.Everyone will just ... go."

Her voice sounded like she would smirk. But I still could only look on her shoes. 

"But why don't you tell me about school? How is it going?", she asked with a change in her voice. It sounded happy and friendly now. She went over to the kitchen but I could still hear her taking out some pots.

"School is going well. It's pretty interesting and I am not bad", I said more happy now. It was like the whole mood changed.

Then it was quiet. No sound of pots. No sound of steps. Just silence.

"Mom?"

I stood up from the couch, making my way to the kitchen. No one was there.

"M...mom? Where are you?", I asked, worried now. I looked around the kitchen, then I went back to the living room. There was a sound like... someone opened the door. I ran over to the floor only to see Don standing in the doorframe. His back turned to me.

"Don? What are you doing here? ... Wait, this doesn't matter. I am so happy that you are here. My mom just disappeared and..."

Don stepped out of the room, slowly closing the door behind him.

"Don? Don! No, wait! Please, don't go away!", I yelled and ran to the closed door. I tried to open it. Pulled and pulled. But it staid close. It was quiet. I was alone. All alone. '

I woke up, sweating. My heart raced and my breath was fast and I wanted to cry. Since the last days, when the swim training got more stressing, I had those nightmares again.

I took my phone from the bedside cabinet. I couldn't just go back to sleep. I wanted to talk to someone. Wanted distraction. I looked at the clock. 3pm. Well... Don was definitly asleep. Like all my other friends. 

I went on line, then I left... and went back on. Everyone seemed to be offline and I wouldn't wake up anyone just because I had a dumb dream. With a sigh I left line, when I got a new message.

'Still online? Guess you can't sleep. Do you wanna come over?'

A text from Sin.  I was online for only a few seconds. How did he...? Well, nevermind.

'Yes, thanks. I will be there in a few minutes', I texted back, happy to get some distraction and got off of the bed. I put on a hoodie and changed my trousers before I left my apartment. When I reached Sins apartment, I knocked at the door quietly.

"Hey, come inside", Sin greeted me and let me come in. I followed him to the chairs, where he sat down. He gave me a sign to sit down next to him.

"So, I wanna be honest with you. I came back 20 minutes ago. When I passed your rooms, I heard... you crying. Is everything alright?"

I looked up at him kinda shocked before I rubbed my neck nervously. Ashamed I replied: "I... I am okay. Don't worry."

"Hey. Don't lie to me. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You can tell me", Sin said with a calm voice and put a hand on my shoulder. With a quiet sigh I responded: "I have nightmares from time to time. Whenever I feel stressed it gets worst."

"What are you dreaming about?"

I started to play with my hands while facing my lap. 

"I... Since I was a child I have to deal with an anxiety disorder. I have a big fear of loosing. So... the most of my dreams are about being left alone.", I told him, feeling like I could and should trust him, "This time it was about my mom. We talked and then... she was gone. And then Don..."

I stopped immediatly. Sin didn't know anything about me and Don being a couple. But now he seemed to be curious.

"Keep talking. I will listen", he said, trying to animate me to go on. I didn't want Sin to find out about my and Dons relationship, as long as Don didn't give me the permission. 

"Alex?"

"Eh... it's not import. So..."

"I already noticed that you and Don seem to be pretty close. So, you can keep talking. I won't comment it, okay?"

This gave me the courage I needed.

"Don was there. And he left. He didn't say a word, he only left. And I was alone. I... it's dumb, isn't it?"

"It isn't at all. I can understand that. Being left alone is a scary thought. Did you talk to anyone about that?"

"Not in the last time. Well, Pharm and some other friends know about it but if I tell Pharm about it now again, I am sure he don't want Dean to let me train for the next days. But if I can't train now I can't qualificate for the upcoming competitions."

Sin looked at me, then he nodded slowly.

"I get that but ... you should take care of yourself. Probably it's too much right now."

"But... Swimming means a lot to me. And I am pretty good at it. It's not the right time to pause. Please, don't tell Pharm about it, P. I will talk to him and my mom, when I think it's the right time", he answered, looking up at him.

"I wouldn't tell anyone since it isn't my decision to make. And I haven't any other right than accepting your decision. But probably you should talk to someone like ... Don about it. If you don't want it, I won't try to change your mind", he said. Then he looked at me quietly for a few seconds, until he started to smile encouraging. "Whenever you have bad dreams and can't sleep, you can just text me or you can just come over. No matter if it's late at night or 5 am in the morning, okay?"

He was always so caring. Just a pure soul.

"Thank you. Thank you a lot, P'Sin", I said, a smile on my face. Once again he patted my shoulder.

"No big deal, Alex. Even if you weren't  my junior officially, I will adopt you as my junior now. What do you think about it? That means you can talk to me about every problem, fear, sorrow. Or you can come around to get some free food and play games... like Don", he suggested, grinning. I didn't know why but I felt proud. 

"I would love to be your unofficially junior. Thank you, P."

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