𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 // 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧

𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 // 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞

i also headcanon tatiana and barb to be together so there might be hints of them here. also cynthia is a lesbian fight me. gay spies forever.
HOMO AGENTS
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curt: hey owen can you carry this box? it's really heavy
owen: *picks up the box effortlessly* nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression.
curt:
curt: i am simultaneously impressed and concerned

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*on the phone*
curt: yeah uh..i don't think i'll be able to make it home tonight
owen: oh, damn, why?
curt: i may or may not have been stabbed a few minutes ago
owen: ...
owen: only you would politely tell me that you can't come home because you got stabbed. i'll call cynthia.

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curt, drunk out of his mind: who's the handsomest man in the world?
owen: you, love
curt, tearing up: i was gonna say ryan reynolds but babe

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curt: why was i cursed with all the dummy and none of the thicc???
cynthia: i hope you know that what you just said fucking haunts me, i'm gonna fire you

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owen: i do have very high standards, i wouldn't date an idiot
curt, walking in, tripping over his own two feet: aah shit, hi guys!
owen: i want that one

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owen: i'm having trouble deciding which would be a good fit for our family, love, adoption is so difficult!!!
curt: owen we've been here for hours please just pick a plant

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tatiana: *starts a whole war*
barb, holding a video camera: you're doing amazing babe!! i'm so proud of you!!