𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 // 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧

𝐜𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 // 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

i feel bad because i haven't written an actual one shot for them in like a month, so here's SOMETHING. sorry for the lack of content i just wrote seven chapters of a brand new fic even though i know i should do this one. sorry sorry sorry i promise this one will be updates but for now i'm just giving you more incorrect quotes because they're easy and funny and i like writing them </3

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owen: request for you not to act like a dumbass bitch on today's mission?

curt, on his seventh coffee in an hour: request denied

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cynthia: just try some simple flirting, you'll be fine!

owen: okay!

*five minutes later*

owen: curt, high five!

curt: *high fives owen*

owen: *laces their fingers together* i'm in love with you

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cynthia: so, are you seeing someone?

curt: uh no, not really, why?

cynthia: i don't know, i just feel like a therapist could really help you sometimes.

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curt: i want some plant soup.

tatiana: what

curt: plant. soup.

tatiana: what

owen, sighing: he means. he wants tea.

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dog: *barking*

curt: man i wish he'd stop barking

owen: i'll fix it

owen: *starts barking back at the dog* woof

dog: woof

owen: he says he doesn't want to stop barking

curt:

curt:

curt: what the hell.

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owen: *stupidly flirting with curt*

curt: *flirts back*

owen:

curt:

owen:

curt: well, you're not gonna say anything?

owen, panicking: i don't know, i didn't think i'd get this far!

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susan: it always seems you favor one spy over the other, cynthia, ma'am.

cynthia: of course not, i love them all equally! anyway, can you call owen and not-owen in for the briefing for me real quick?

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owen: what if the songs "it's raining men" and "let the bodies hit the floor" are the same songs from different points of view?

cynthia: owen-

curt: wait, cynthia, let him finish, he's onto something

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cynthia, angry: well well well, if it isn't curt and owen.

curt: but it is us?

cynthia: no, it's an expression-

owen: your psychological tricks can't fool us, cynthia!

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