Skai Natblida

tourist

Night became day and day becomes work. I stayed up for the most part, too paranoid to sleep soundly. Was it really paranoia if you knew people were watching? While I understand the need to keep away from Mount Weather they had all night to steer us away. Instead the scouts just watched.

While my stomach was somewhat queasy from being so full, my mind was oddly calm. This was it. The catalyst moment between three different factions on this new Earth. When Skaikru meets Trikru on Mounon land.

The group had already formed by the time I strolled over.

Monty and Jasper seemed well rested. Finn and Clarke were acting calm but I could see the tension they hid. Octavia, she was acting different. Maybe not different. Maybe just less put upon. Like she knew she couldn't keep pretending to be okay. Which was why I recognized the look she had on because I was feeling the same way.

It's easy to overlook the trauma she's already gone through in such a short lifetime. Fuck, all of the hundred kids could probably use some form of therapy. But in the Base Worlds she was always brandished as a tough warrior with no remorse. Nobody even thinking about her lack of socialization at a young age or how that would influence how she interacts. Or about how she doesn't seem to understand things in an emotional capacity and struggles to cope in a healthy way. Bellamy did the best he could with what he had, but the requirements for physical survival versus mental wellbeing don't line up or are taken into account. Especially when you're a child raising another child.

I've been treating her like the emotionally incompetent soldier I saw her become. But she's still just a kid who knows enough to be scared and not enough to comprehend why.

To combat my, albeit bitchy, behavior from the previous day I walk up to her first.

"Hey, how did you sleep last night?"

She automatically seems suspicious. Which is insulting but fair enough. I can tell she doesn't want to answer so I charge on anyways.

"Bet you're missing your brother. I know I am. It's always weird sleeping away from them, isn't it?"

Once I've established neutral ground her shoulders loosen up and her jaw unclenches.

"Yeah. Even in lock-up there were nights where I still expected to hear him. Just to say goodnight or even his breathing. I miss him, don't get me wrong, but is it bad to say I kinda enjoyed the freedom?" At this she lowers her eyes. The guilt she's feeling is new for her. It's mixed with relief and that only magnifies it.

There isn't enough time to have a thorough discussion, even though it's much needed. I reassure her that it's normal to feel a bit stifled with what she's gone through. We talk about having brothers and I tell her more about life on the Ark. She's so curious and it's adorable it's own tragic way.

I figure out the conversation centering Clarke and her dad must have happened yesterday. Most likely while I was dealing with the deer. Octavia and Monty were also probably informed by Jasper while I then was dealing with the snake. Kind of concerning I've been spending most of my time with dead animals so far. Guess Clarke didn't feel the need to rehash the Jake situation with me.

Even though it wasn't my fault.

Even though I desperately tried to warn his pathetically hopeful heart not to trust other people. When I begged him to think of the Ark and his daughter and to not-

Yeah best not dwell on that.

While my guilt associating Griffins is swirling in my stomach Clarke is speaking to Finn and Jasper. The vine seems to be sturdy enough.

"The apogee, like the Indians right?"

"You know they weren't actually Indian right?" I say under my breath. Octavia lets out a snort, informing me she heard and understood my snark. I wonder if Bellamy taught her about that. Little history lessons like I did with Diell.

"Today, Finn" Clark cuts in. My wondering thoughts stop. I grip the straps of my pack and look around nervously.

I know people must be here. Right now. I just don't know where. But we have to be prepared to leave. Immediately.

In a show of courage, Jasper takes the reigns instead. I wish I could tell him not to. I wish I could spare him.

I do neither.

He successfully swings across the water, landing rather clumsily on some logs. Cheers erupt. My blood rushes to my ears. I see the group pump their fists in triumph. My stomach drops.

Jasper picks up a sign. He wields it like a badge of honor. Only I can recognize it for what it truly is: a target.

The stories get it wrong. When bad things happen, when your adrenaline is pumping - things don’t slow down. You speed up. A split second, half of a heartbeat, and you can see everything.

The spear moves quicker than I thought it would. It pierces through his skinny body and knocks him back. We all move quickly down, as if that would somehow help us.

"We're not alone" Clarke finally rasps.

Yeah no shit, Griff.

Time to run like hell.